By Lee Nan-hee
A documentary program that EBS aired a while ago (Oct. 28, 2015) showed a trend in France where the number of traditional marriages approved and controlled by the state has gradually decreased and the number of PACS (acronym of Pacte civil de solidarite), legal contract of solidarity or living together, has increased. The PACS refers to a system in which living together of a same sex couple or a male and female couple is legally approved and the status and rights almost the same as those of a husband and a wife are guaranteed by laws. This program also showed clearly that not only in France but also in many European countries including Denmark, Finland and Netherlands, the number of people living together surpassed that of traditional marriages.
In Korea, a book titled, “A Generation of Not Being Able to Marry,” was published in 2012. At that time, the proportion of one-person households exceeded the ratio of the traditional nuclear family made up of a husband, a wife and young children. In the meantime, an entertainer named Sayuri from Japan had a baby by sperm donation in November 2020 without getting married. Regarding this, there appeared a petition in the Cheong Wa Dae internet national plea site requesting Sayuri to be forbidden to appear on TV as her behavior may well fuel the trend of remaining single. People were busy discussing matters such as whether it is desirable to raise a child without a father, whether giving birth to a baby without being married goes against social norms, what the normal family should look like, and who set the standard of that normality.
On the other hand, according to a U.S. news report in June 2022, a record-high 70 percent of Americans support same-sex marriages and 21 percent of young people regard themselves as part of a sexual minority group (LGBTQ). As is definitely shown above, the world has seen a drastic change in terms of marriage and family types.
At this point, I cannot help but ask a question. How is Korean society coping with such changes? I am concerned that our society is left behind in terms of the reality facing the concept of the family, while only clinging to the traditional stereotype. For example, some religious groups oppose such a rapidly changing trend. Some researchers have studied the church lives of non-marrying single women in Korea. Most of them have found that such single women are likely to be alienated in many church activities. As church activities and groups are usually organized according to traditional family units, single women with no family members are feeling marginalized and segregated in places of worship. It is deeply deplorable that even in church where everyone is supposed to be happy and grateful, some people continue to feel unhappy and uncomfortable.
Society changes. It does change with the impetus of science and cutting-edge technology these days. Without the technology of artificial insemination, Sayuri could not have had a baby. Sometimes I hear young women talk about their plans to have their eggs frozen. We need to catch up with that changing society. When we fail to do so, we experience disharmony or a chasm between reality and perception. That is nothing other than cognitive dissonance. We had better admit that various types of families exist and that everyone deserves to be respected and that they are worthy of living decent lives whether they are married or not in our society.
Dr. Lee Nan-hee studied English in college and theology at Hanshin University.
