“How much time do you have?” Nedžad asks? “Bosnians talk a lot because we have so much time. You in the EU don’t have that, maybe we can export some free time to you,” he jokes. What follows is Nedžad’s life story, which indeed takes time to fully comprehend.
To flee
Nedžad Avdić (42) grew up in a village near Srebrenica. He had a carefree childhood. “I dreamed of becoming a professional football player.” When Nedžad was 14 the war started. “My class was mixed, with Bosniaks and Serbs. That was never a problem. My Serbian teacher also didn’t understand what the army was doing.” Nedžad’s family was not politically active and they believed they would not be a target of the violence. But his village was one of the first to be completely destroyed.
He fled with his parents and three sisters. They roamed in the woods and eventually ended up in Srebrenica. “It must have been winter because it had snowed. There were so many refugees. We had nothing, no clothes, no shoes.” First they lived in a garage, later in a school and finally in temporary homes built by the Swedes.
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For years Srebrenica was surrounded by the Bosnian Serb army. The town is located in a valley and was shelled from the mountains. In July 1995, the targeted attack that eventually led to the capture of the city began. Nedžad and his family weren’t sure where to go, where it was safe. They heard about a column of people venturing through the woods to a safe area. Together with his father, he decided to choose that path. His mother and two sisters sought protection in the compound of the Dutch UN soldiers.
“I had accepted death as fact”
“When we got to the motorcade… There were maybe 10 to 15,000 people. Mainly men and boys, a few women. I lost my father immediately and was swallowed up by the crowd. I cried because I didn’t see anyone around me that I knew.” On their way to a safe area they were continuously fired upon, more and more people were injured and the column became more and more thinned out. “I realized I was going to be killed. I wasn’t afraid of that, I had accepted it as a fact. But I was afraid to suffer. To get hurt and be left in the woods.”
After a few days, Nedžad was captured by the Serbs along with some 2000 other men. “At first they were nice, I think to lure us out of the woods. They were going to give us dinner. But I heard the sarcasm in the soldier’s voice. Once everyone was there, the torture started.” The men were taken away in trucks. The next morning Nedžad looked through a hole in the sail. “I recognized classmates from high school from the past. On their bicycles, as if nothing was wrong. While we were on our way to our deaths.” The classmates Nedžad talks about were ethnic Serbs.
give us water
The men were taken to a school. “They started the executions right away. I heard the shots and people crying.” Nedžad was in the last classroom. He wanted to escape, but he didn’t have the strength. The Serbian soldiers made everyone undress. The hands were tied behind his back. In the trucks they were taken to the place where they would be executed. “I walked with my head down because I didn’t want to see the dead bodies.”
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“People were crying: please give us water and then kill us. But the Serbian soldiers refused. For a split second I thought of my mother, that she would not know where I was. I was probably in shock afterwards, because I remember not how I was hit.” Nedžad got bullets in his arm, his side, his foot. He heard them fall one after the other.
The will to live
“The Serbs checked the bodies and a soldier stopped in front of me. I closed my eyes, thinking he was going to shoot me. But he shot the man behind me.” Nedžad is also injured in the head. “It’s hard to imagine that there are people who take so much pleasure in other people’s suffering. I thought about calling the soldier to kill me. But I didn’t dare. It’s a difficult moment. You are between life and death, and in spite of all that pain there is still that will to live.”
“I heard less and less voices and less and less bullets and eventually she got in the trucks and they drove off.” There is another man who survived the execution. He uses clothes to bandage Nedžad’s wounds. “I don’t remember much about that moment myself. Years later I heard from him that I was so exhausted that I fell asleep in his lap.” The next morning they fled further through the woods. “Eventually we were on a hill and in the distance I saw the dead bodies being bulldozered. I thought something like this only existed in movies. I had just survived an execution, but only then did I feel the brutality. “
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The men wandered about for days. Nedžad crawling, because of all his injuries. “I told him so many times: please leave me behind and save yourself. But every time he motivated me to move on.” Eventually they end up in a village which is a safe area. “Suddenly there were a lot of people around me who helped me and gave me water. I started to cry and realized that I had survived.” Nedžad’s father, four uncles, cousins and other relatives did not survive the genocide.
Back to Srebrenica
“It’s part of you, you can’t erase it. You have to learn to deal with it.” He even went back to Srebrenica to live there. “I can’t really explain why I went back. But deep down I felt that this is what I want. Maybe to show that I’m alive.” He has now lived in Srebrenica for 15 years with his wife and three children.
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“Genocide never stopped here,” says Nedžad. He refers to the genocide denial, for example by the mayor of Srebrenica, by the Serbian president of Bosnia and because his children do not learn anything about the genocide at school.
Nedžad has written a book and regularly tells his story in schools across Europe. “It makes me feel a little better. I testified against the war criminals and I’m glad I did. They got what they deserve. But it’s no use to me that they’re incarcerated for life. The truth is important to me . And by telling my story I contribute to that.”
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‘Apologies from the Netherlands would be good’
Tomorrow the commemoration of the genocide in Srebrenica will take place. The Netherlands apologized to the Dutch UN soldiers three weeks ago. “I understand that there were many young, inexperienced soldiers and that the Dutch government apologizes to them. But it would be good if there were something similar for the relatives. We are not looking for money, it does not heal our wounds. We know who is responsible for the mass executions, but Dutch soldiers also had their part, Dutch government had their part. For us as survivors it would be a recognition if they accept that role and we could continue.”
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