As a child, Nancy finds herself in an office of the DPJ, following a report. Even before having started discussions with the two speakers present, his mother gets up. “Anyway, I don’t want that child anymore.
Find him another family. “
Shame and lack of esteem weighed for a long time on the shoulders of Nancy Audet, who worked as a journalist for 17 years for the TVA and Radio-Canada networks. Although she blossomed through her career, behind this facade hid a childhood disrupted by physical and psychological violence, visits to youth centers and foster families and suicide attempts. In her entourage, she often heard colleagues talk about their mother as their greatest admirer. At times like these, Nancy would sometimes take refuge in a corner to cry.
The aftereffects remained vivid, even in adulthood. The journey is long and arduous in learning to love yourself again. Especially when the people who are supposed to love you the most… haven’t. Through the inter-putting of his book, “Never again shame: The improbable journey of a small poque”, Nancy Audet frees herself from her past and offers solutions for the future. Today, the author is godmother of children for the Montreal Youth Center Foundation. Its fight is far from over: it is absolutely necessary to change perceptions and refocus the issue towards collective accountability.
Break the cycle
Although she is now the mother of a 3-year-old girl, Nancy Audet has long hesitated to have a child, for fear of reproducing the same behaviors as her mother. “I was so afraid of not knowing how to transmit what I had not received”, she writes.
Today, she breaks the intergenerational cycle of violence, a central concept in her book. In Nancy’s case, her mother reproduced the violence she also suffered as a child. It even happens that some parents, who were taken care of by the younger DPJ, are today seeing their children’s custody withdrawn by the same organization. When such situations arise, it means that somewhere, “We failed”, highlights the University of Ottawa graduate in journalism. “We failed to give them the tools they needed to prevent the cycle from repeating itself. “
Building a social net
For Nancy Audet, the DYP must return to its initial role of ” firefighter “, be the first responder in an emergency situation. The only way to unclog the system is to work upstream and take all the necessary precautions to prevent the fire from taking place. The journalist gives the example of a child who has arrived at school for a few days without any food. We will have the reflex to call the DPJ directly. However, the presence of front-line services would make it possible to approach the issue from another angle: perhaps the parent is experiencing financial difficulties at home, which does not automatically mean that they are a bad parent. “The goal is never to take a child away from its parents. The goal is to offer tools for him to become a more adequate parent. ” But to get there, we must invest massively in first-line services and weave a watertight social net to accompany, support and direct towards the appropriate resources.
Give a hand
Meaningful people, such as the lady who welcomed her into a foster family or friends who crossed her path, made all the difference for little Nancy. Today, she deplores a social disengagement with neglected children. We tend to only report to the government or to the DYP to resolve the situation. The journalist has high hopes that we will return to a “Village responsibility”let us extend our hand more and that everyone keeps a look benevolent.
The effort must be both individual, but also collective and societal. We must offer the chance for the child to develop a passion and to be well supported. For Nancy, it was sport. For others, it could very well be singing, painting or music. Regardless, this kind of involvement promotes the development of a solid network, hence the need for organizations to offer places to children with DYP.
The same goes for schools: “There is no reason that private schools in Quebec are overflowing with money and not welcoming not 10 or 15 children in their ranks each year. “ Same principle for companies who can offer employment programs. “Everyone must do their part”, insists Nancy Audet. “We have to come back to a social commitment towards these children, it is urgent. They are our children. I cannot believe that as a society we can live with peace of mind knowing that there are 30,000 children a year under youth protection. ”
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