“My Mother’s Struggle with Alcohol After My Father’s Sudden Death”

It has been eight months since my father left us forever. A lot of health complications piled up at once, and his little heart could not stand it. I thought the worst was over. But, as it turned out, my mother never came to terms with his death and does stupid things. Not a day goes by that I don’t find her at home drunk.

Father died suddenly

When one day my dad called me and said that it was difficult for him to breathe, I had no idea how quickly it would all end. I took him to the hospital where he stayed. He had a minor heart attack and subsequent tests showed he was in a critical condition. His heart was not beating at full strength, the kidneys were not doing their job. He caught covid, and that was it.

Dad died two months after being hospitalized. It was a huge shock. The day before, I was still standing next to him and reading the newspaper, and then the next morning he was gone. My heart ached because I thought he would come home. My mother was waiting for him there. It wasn’t always easy for her either. At one time she was treated for alcohol addiction.

Mom hasn’t drank in the last nine years. And that’s only because my father threatened to leave her if she ever had a drink. When dad died, I didn’t think that mom would start drinking. It started about a month after the funeral. We called each other every day. But one of those calls was rather strange. Mom muttered something, repeated, and I had a certain suspicion.

Mom reached for strong alcohol

One day I decided to visit her. I found her drunk under the bed. Throughout the apartment there was an unpleasant smell, dirt and, most importantly, empty bottles of strong alcohol. “Are you kidding me? Have you forgotten that alcohol once almost drove you to your grave? You can’t drink, you know about that?”

But my mother was so drunk that she didn’t even notice me. I stayed with her until morning, waiting for her to sober up. She immediately apologized and said that it was only once, but I did not believe her. She scared me beyond belief. Just to explain. She drank heavily at the time and was at risk for cirrhosis of the liver. She was very close to death.

Besides, she knows very well that she shouldn’t drink. It affects her head. She has problems with memory and coordination. She still walks with a cane. And the thought of her falling into it again scared me. And, unfortunately, I was right when I worried about it. Mom started drinking heavily. And now I sit at work and worry about what my mom is doing at home.

I don’t know how to make my mom stop drinking

I pushed my family into the background. I raid my mom’s house and unfortunately always succeed. Not a day goes by that she doesn’t drink. I’m confused and don’t know what to do. She won’t let me talk to her. She thinks that if her father is dead, then she can die too. She doesn’t care about her grandchildren, about me, about everyone. She doesn’t eat anything and doesn’t go to work. It’s like she’s actually dying in front of my eyes.

Despite the fact that an understanding husband is next to me, he also begins to resent. Because I don’t spend much time with my family. And when I’m at home, I just sit and get nervous. I don’t want to lose my other parent, but at the same time, I don’t have leverage over my mom. If I don’t control her, I’m afraid things won’t go well. But what if she can’t stop?

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