My husband got devices and now he only communicates with them. And I, my lawful wife, am beside him!

Until last year, my husband Vadim was not interested in computers and technology. I went with the old handset and didn’t complain.

And how he changed his sixth decade, because he broke the chain. He asked me to give him a new phone. Yes, not a simple one, but with an apple on the back cover.

When I looked at how much it cost, I almost fainted. I say, well, for this money he cleans or runs to the store for groceries.

Hubby puffed out his thin chest. This is not a phone, they say, but a technological breakthrough. A miracle, they say, of technology.

“This smartphone alone will replace your TV, radio and computer,” my husband confronted me with boredom.

I immediately told him that there was no extra money in the family budget for such toys. Watch, I say, TV the old-fashioned way and don’t make things up.

So this brat, you guessed it, ended up buying himself an Apple phone. On credit! I’ll take it by the scruff of the neck. A man must put his brain back in place, or he has lived to see gray hairs, but his intelligence has not increased.

Vadim promised to take on another part-time job so that the family would not suffer from these stupid purchases. How else can I say, because now my husband will not part with this smartphone.

As soon as he returns from work, he lies down on the sofa with a pipe in his hands. He is looking at something, reading, and laughing to himself. It is absolutely disgusting to watch.

I try to draw attention to myself, I tell him something about the children. But he doesn’t seem to be listening. He shakes his hand, saying, that’s all later.

I wanted to throw a scandal at him and throw the phone in the trash. But my friends and my mother discouraged me. They say, consider that the man is sitting at home with you and is not chasing after any woman.

I thought about it and realized that my friends were right. The hunt is on for good people. Mine, though outwardly strange, is hardworking and kind.

I resigned and fell silent. And recently my husband’s mind went even further.

I come home from work, and he is talking to some woman. Marusya this, Marusya that. But the woman herself is nowhere to be found!

And he’s not talking to a friend on the phone. Here he is, the smartphone, lying next to him. In front of my husband is just a box of sorts, like a speaker.

Mothers, it occurred to me that Vadka has lost his mind and is talking to the speaker! And he even called it a woman’s name!

I already wanted to call an ambulance, a psychiatrist. But the man stopped. Don’t be silly, he says, I bought the smart speaker.

What, I ask, a column and a smart one at that. You, I say, hear yourself.

– I hear well. And Marusya hears us perfectly. So don’t shout, but instead get to know our virtual assistant,” said Vadim.

And then the pillar came to life, lit up, something suffocated. The man was happy. Now, he says, she already recognizes my voice.

– Marusya, what is the weather now? – said Vadim.

The column said in a cheerful voice that no rain was expected soon. I just shook my head.

An old fool has gone mad and is obsessed with toys.

And a whole new life began for us. My husband doesn’t pay any attention to me now. All day, when he was at home, he was going with his Maruska.

Tell a joke, read the news, set an alarm. It doesn’t just come off the speaker and even put it next to the bed at night!

At first I was silent. I thought she would play enough and stop. Then she started complaining. You come home from work, want to exchange a word with your lover, and he is sitting in the corner with this plastic nonsense and whispering something to him.

It just makes me feel uncomfortable. I tell my husband this and that. Vadik, please talk to me. He turns it off. I don’t have time for you, they say, I’m teaching Marusya new commands.

I already hate this electronic idiot! She broke into my house and stole my husband, you idiot.

And she laughs at him and talks to him in a sweet voice. And when I ask something, she is so rude: “Your request is not recognized.” Go away, they say, I don’t know you.

I tried to figure it out with the method time and time again. But I couldn’t figure out where to put this organ off. My friends advised me to throw it out the window. It’s a shame to throw money away.

I decided to talk to Vadim. So and so, they say, let’s stop with your Marusya. I feel uncomfortable when I see you making love to her.

My husband rolled his eyes at me. You, he says, have completely lost your head, you are envious of electronics.

So, I say, you don’t look away from her for a moment. When your wife is alive, you talk to someone else.

“I’m interested in Marusya, but you don’t match her knowledge and skills,” replied the man.

That’s it, they arrived. I tell him that a wife doesn’t have to be an animator. We don’t have a “Field of Miracles” here, but a family. But he didn’t listen and turned to his speaker.

Well, money is money, but you have to hit your opponent with a hammer.

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