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Maternity week and culture shock
There is a year between the phone call and the arrival of her daughter in the Netherlands. “An earthquake, riots, crown: it was an eventful period. I was allowed to make video calls with Mica to get to know her and I saw on the screen a beautiful girl who I immediately closed in my heart. I sent her gifts and l ‘I looked in my best clothes online for her Christmas show, like a mother does for her daughter. “
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She hasn’t lived with Tollenaar in Arnhem for a few months now. “I compare the first few weeks with a maternity period. It was beautiful and intense. It wasn’t culture shock, but my life changed completely too. I felt we had to take it easy, it was too much too soon. Everything was new for Mica. “She didn’t know what an airplane was and she had never been to a supermarket. I made sure she didn’t have too much to eat in one day. If I didn’t, she would cry at the end of the day. Heartbreaking. “”
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Alone it is comfortable, together it is richer
The most frequent question Tollenaar receives is how does he communicate with his daughter. “Thankfully you don’t need a lot of language to communicate. I work in a daycare with children and I know exactly what a child needs. There are no words for that. In the last few months I have learned to listen Mica. She learns about a month. language year, so before the end of this year he will speak Dutch. “
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He finds it special how the arrival of his son opens hearts. Everyone is interested in his path and work and feels empathy with his family. “She couldn’t have been my biological daughter in character, we’re very similar. She’s a little livelier and changes her emotions quickly, but that makes it easier to understand each other.”
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Parenting is more intense than he imagined. “You have to be there for the other person more than for yourself. Alone it’s more comfortable, but together with my son I find my life much richer.”
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