She is often surprised at how different her child is at home and at school, Janneke explains. “Liese is very funny, lively and present at home, but often shuts down at school. She clings to one girlfriend, so she is the only one she wants to meet after school. I want her to make more girlfriends, but or somehow she doesn’t. How can I encourage this?”
Children’s coach Janina Dubbeld van practice The Lighthouse can be very brief about this: you cannot ‘force’ your child to make many friends and a social butterfly to become: “Allow your daughter to decide who she plays with and who she doesn’t. This feels like this is more of an issue for you than for her. Investigate where this desire comes from in you. What was it like for you in the past? Did you have many girlfriends? How did this make you feel? And how did your parents react to your social life?”
“Also think about what exactly your fear is and why you don’t seem to find one girlfriend enough. It is also interesting how your partner feels about this: do you share this feeling? Look honestly at the answers and take some distance. much clear to you.”
Everything in good time, Dubbeld emphasizes once again. “Let your daughter develop socially in her own way and at her own pace. Trust that she will let you know if she wants something different and if she needs your help or simply a listening ear. Respect her and being part of this choice will ensure that she knocks on your door when needed.”
Airy friendships
“Also remember that eight years is still quite young. Friendships are often light-hearted at that age. With age they become more important and your daughter may behave differently. Although it is still good to check with yourself who actually has these concerns , you or your daughter.”
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