“My boyfriend says I don’t earn enough. He started taking my car keys.”

Below we publish a letter from Kasia, who wrote to us about problems in her relationship. If you want to share your story, write to [email protected]. Selected lists will be published on the Ofeminin website.

I work two jobs and I still hear complaints

We haven’t been able to come to an agreement when it comes to money for some time now. I’m looking for a golden mean, but it doesn’t work… We both work, but my boyfriend has a better-paid job. After one job, I go to another one, and in the evening I’m so exhausted that I fall on my face. I also work every Saturday. Unfortunately, I still hear complaints from him – that I spend a lot of money on myself, that I go for eyelashes and nails once a month, to a beautician once every three months, and that every now and then I get a new piece of clothing. Month after month, he shouts at me that I spend a lot, that I don’t save and that I don’t contribute enough to the joint fund.

The rest of the article is below the video

Yes, I contribute less to the joint budget because I have less left and I simply have nothing to spend on. I will add that I have savings from before our relationship and I always try to save at least something a month, and my partner lives from month to month and spends it on various stupid things, such as games, sports clothes (because he exercises a lot), some playstation, well and, of course, pizza delivered to his home so he could eat it in front of the TV. We’ve had a lot of disputes over money so far, but what’s been going on for a month now is hardcore.

He takes my car keys

We have to pay for an apartment and a car, which we took out on a loan. Unfortunately, the car is his, so there have been times when my boyfriend took my keys after an argument, and I had to take a bus to pick up some heavy shopping. We bought the car a year ago, I added PLN 15,000 from my savings. I wasn’t working at the time and he was the one who mainly paid the installments, so he thinks that for a year it was already my PLN 15,000. I left PLN. But at that time I paid other things, such as the mortgage installment for the apartment (also from my savings).

I feel less and less valuable

We previously agreed that everyone pays 60%. his salary goes to a joint account and from this pool money goes to pay fees, but he still complains that he gives more. I also asked him to transfer the car to me, because I paid my own contribution (the above-mentioned PLN 15,000), but he keeps blinking and postponing it, ignoring me. As a result, I have nothing of my own – neither a car nor an apartment that is shared.

My blood is boiling more and more. I feel inferior, cheated and even exploited. He doesn’t appreciate me, I don’t think he even respects me anymore, and he shows it more and more boldly. And it’s getting worse for me and I feel less and less valuable.