Mothers are very little believed when they bring up cases of incest. An example from Montpellier has come to the knowledge of the Fist.
On October 27, at the national level, the brand new and very official Independent Commission on Incest and Sexual Violence (CIIVISE) issued its first report. Which met with a strong echo in the media. Who insisted on the lack of listening to mothers, highlighted in this report. The latter are very often suspected of lying and manipulating their children in cases involving fathers.
The independent commission states very clearly: “This systematic suspicion towards mothers is a major obstacle (…) to the protection of children”. Edouard Durand, co-president, explains in this regard: “Society says, ‘you are mothers, you have to protect your children.’ But she also tells them: “we don’t want to hear what you have to say to us, we will accuse you of lying”.
The impossibility of being heard is what Elise transcribed, after the last hearing she experienced before the family court. Elise
is a mother from Montpellier who ended up turning to Le Poing to voice her powerlessness to convince the competent authorities to take ad-hoc protective measures, since her child, Marc told him of touching between his father and him when he was four years old. “I felt as traumatized by the course of this hearing as when I had learned the facts themselves”
she testifies. The father is from a very settled social background, rich in connections in the region, while she herself, of foreign origin, has experienced a more uneven training and professional integration path.
“I felt that all respect was due to him, while my arguments were not worthy of being truly listened to”.
Originally it was a pediatrician following little Marc who had made a report, prompting the start of an investigation, which was finally dismissed, the prosecution considering the facts insufficiently established to continue. These facts are those of touching, while the child was taking a shower with his father. According to the various declarations, over the expert reports, and the findings of caregivers mentioned by Elise, or her own observations of other inappropriate behavior, Le Poing is not in a position to formally settle the arguments on the part of and on the other, word against word, according to which it is the child or the father who would have taken the initiative, if the latter would have “only” been excessively permissive, or if he himself had sought it excitement and fun These are the same elements which, in the procedural formality, determine the degree of incrimination. In any case, little Marc’s discomfort is deep, according to his mother, who is intensely worried. His speech nevertheless comes to us as very measured: “Marc loves his dad. He loves us both. He would like to return to a normal, peaceful situation.
she observes. On the basis of which, it ensures: “My goal is not for the dad to be condemned. I only ask that a precautionary principle be applied”. To know,
“Let’s take the time for Marc to mature, for him to be fully able to determine himself, in conscience. And that until then, the meetings with his father take place in my presence – we have the experience of this – or otherwise with other mediation and follow-up measures, which the father needs”. The essence of his request therefore relates to a reorganization of custody rights, the couple being separated. For her, it is obvious,
“as long as there is any doubt”. At the same time, a request was filed with the senior investigating judge for the original proceedings to be reopened. Otherwise, the judges of family affairs, and of children, consider that in short there are not sufficiently established facts, or that the situation tends to calm down since the incriminating facts would have ceased, and that no modification is to be made to these shared custody arrangements, nor that another educational protection measure is to be taken. To which Elise replies that the child’s disorder remains manifest.
“We need to get out of this loop”,
she begs. In support of this, she displays the letters she has sent to all the competent administrative and political authorities, there is no shortage of them, locally and beyond, in the prefecture or the department, up to the Secretary of State in charge of children and families, Adrien Taquet. All the answers are absolutely impeccable, recalling the principles of separation of powers, and imperturbably advising to take the appropriate attachment to such and such a service, such and such a body. This is what consists in going around in circles, without anything concrete ever coming out of it.
-Call it the institutional damper. Let’s not worry. Everything is planned. But nothing happens. Enough to leave Elise with the famous feeling of lack of listening now officially established by the new ad-hoc independent commission. Faced with which, even very tired, his stubbornness remains intact.
Names changed.
