If there is a fear of us men, more than any other existing one, it is related to the loss of potency and sexual performance, which seems to be an unavoidable mandate of the prevailing hegemonic masculinity, impossible not to be fulfilled by those who want to be considered and branded as men, mainly by our peers.
I point this out from the different studies that show the enormous difference that exists between men and women in regards to their health care, both physical and mental, where men go much less often than women to see psychologists and medical check-ups (1 ), which reinforces the patriarchal idea that we are stronger and invulnerable beings.
Given this, the fact that men visit doctors for sexual and/or reproductive reasons is even less, since it puts a type of masculinity at risk that believes that it does not need help on this level, which would be a sample of our weakness and inability to take on problems, assuming that in this way our own virility and the essence of being a man would be at stake.
Therefore, it is not surprising that a medical subdiscipline such as andrology is so little known and visited by men, being a true taboo for ourselves, making us panic to go during our lives, for fear of being mocked and ridiculed by other men, for not delivering in bed and for not being the man we’re supposed to be.
It is from this phallocentrism that we are inserted and that pressures us minute by minute, that any sexual dysfunction that we have (sexual desire disorder, erectile dysfunction, orgasmic disorder, vulvodynia, premature ejaculation) is seen as something that we have to solve on our own. account and always under strict silence so as not to expose ourselves.
The case of andropause, for example, which refers to the progressive decline in testosterone levels, becomes a real catastrophe for many men, preferring to self-medicate than go to see an andrologist to receive appropriate treatment for their situation, which shows our disconnection with our own body, the result of a lack of comprehensive sexual education, both in our homes and in schools.
A situation similar to what happens with sexually transmitted diseases, where by going to the doctor much less than women, we expose our partners and put them at risk, which should make us reflect on how counterproductive it is for us and for our environment continue to be subordinated to an irresponsible masculinity, which is reflected in how many men still refuse to use a condom, since it would supposedly limit us sexually.
For the same reason, with regard to reproduction, all the weight finally falls on women, since they are the ones who have to take birth control pills and visit the gynecologist from a very young age, while we only go to the andrologist , many times because they are the ones who take us, either to have children or due to some sexual dysfunction, which leaves the idea that we are super fertile and sexually powerful men on the ground.
It is true, it is undeniable that men have become more aware of our bodies and are taking better care of ourselves than before, which can be seen through the increase in vasectomies performed in recent years (2), but we are still very far from what is necessary, since it implies being able to get rid of many mandates of masculinity, which continue to be reproduced in different areas of life.
Having said all this, it becomes impossible not to refer to the terror that men have of the dreaded prostate exam to prevent cancer, which, when performed in a man’s rectum, is almost sacrilege just thinking about doing it and even more so discuss it with the rest, since the anus seems to be a part of the body that is prohibited for us, since it is synonymous with homosexuality, and therefore less manly.
On the contrary, to raise that is to affirm a homophobic idea and full of myths about the prostate, since it is known that it is the so-called point P (3), which has nothing to do with the sexual orientation of each one, showing a Once again, more than sexual pleasure, what matters to many is dominance over others and finally others, thus reinforcing a harmful way of being a man that should be left behind forever.
By Andrés Kogan Valderrama
