By Daniel Schottmuller
As long as we only show our kids ice princesses and star warriors, they will continue to want to be princesses and warriors.” Christoph May convinced. As a male researcher, he has made it his task to advocate more diversity and equality. May’s strategy: make it clear to his peers how male our society is and why not only women have to suffer from it. In an interview with the RNZ, the avowed feminist talks about uncreative male fantasies, mayors named Thomas, Hulk and Wonder Woman. May also reveals how men can change for the better.
Mr. May, to put it bluntly: do we men have a problem?
Most men I deal with don’t believe that. They think there is equality. What they overlook is that we men are highly privileged. And it is in the nature of privilege that it is invisible to the one who enjoys it. That’s why I wouldn’t say we have a problem – but: We are the problem. Our male monocultures are the bedrock of misogyny and misogyny. Ultimately, all forms of violence are male-dominated: fascism, racism, hate speech. The majority of conspiracy theories also come from men.
What do you mean by the term male monocultures?
Wherever men keep to themselves, we are dealing with male monocultures. You could also say men’s unions. What they produce is cultural poverty, extreme inequality and an enormous lack of imagination in the narratives.
Which male monocultures need to be eradicated most urgently?
The Catholic Church, FIFA and DFB, the car industry, music industry or the patriarchy at the theater. Local politics is also in male hands. 91 percent of the municipalities and cities in Germany are led by men. You have to think about it: We have more mayors named Thomas than women mayors. 80 percent of German companies still do not have female managers at all. 95 percent of regional newspapers have male editors-in-chief.
Instead of a quota for women, you are demanding a limit for men – why this distinction?
Because I experience in my seminars that men don’t feel addressed at all when you talk about a women’s quota. Most think, “What does this have to do with me?” Equal Opportunities Officers – mostly women – report regularly that men don’t even come when buzzwords such as feminism, equal rights or women’s rights appear on the event flyers. That’s why I’m trying to turn the terminology around and address men directly. I want to make it clear: We are overpowering! And it cannot be the task of women, inter, trans and non-binary people to break up male bonds. That is our task.
You describe ignorance on the male side. Do you think men can act misogynist without even realizing it?
The male researcher Rolf Pohl writes in his book “Feindbild Frau” that the devaluation of women is an integral part of male identity. Basically, everything that we men produce is inconceivable without the devaluation of women. After 6000 years of patriarchy, hundreds of forms of misogyny have evolved, from the subtle to the extreme, that we all consciously and unconsciously reproduce. It doesn’t always have to be about violence or sexual assault. Just looking, yelling, or chasing is misogynist behavior. The same goes for belittling women or that protective mode that men like to adopt. It is a life’s work to discard such patterns – for me too.
As a man, what can I do specifically in my everyday life to ensure more equality?
Don’t just surround yourself with other men, make yourself as diverse as possible. Even if we only go to the pub with male buddies, we reproduce male-dominated behavior. By definition, men’s unions cannot create diversity. It is just as important to change your own media consumption. I always like to ask participants in my seminars to show me on their smartphones which songs and videos they have listened to and watched over the past year. Most of the time, only content produced by men pops up. So, why not only consume music, series, films and books written by women, inter, trans and non-binary people for the next few years? I can guarantee: This is a perspective expansion that you won’t want to do without anymore. Only then do you realize how underchallenged you were before. And how poor are the stories we men tell each other over and over again.
Always the same tune? Jason Statham, John Wayne and Dwayne Johnson play the “strongman”. Photo: dpaWhat stories are these?
The dominant body image in these stories is body armor – much like the Hulk. Again and again we have to deal with supermen, with six-packs and supermanly abilities. What’s even sadder is that we men don’t grow up with role models who show us how to resolve conflicts through conversation, which would produce much more exciting scripts. Instead, we see men who immediately go into conflict and become violent. We’re so used to it that we can hardly imagine a film or series world in which men don’t fight with each other. The most dominant of all stories that shapes us from an early age is that of the absent father. Whether it’s Hercules, Jesus or Luke Skywalker, we’re always dealing with protagonists who set out to get in touch with their punishing fathers. On the way they have to fulfill tasks and become a bit like their fathers. When these are finally reached, however, no exchange takes place. Instead, there is speechlessness. The moment fathers have a chance to go parenting and get to know their sons, they die or disappear to save some worlds.
And how do the relationships between women and men shown in films and series look like?
Women are mostly sexualized. They have to be conquered, rescued or protected by men because they are not given a position of power. Now you could say: There are more and more self-confident and strong women in pop culture. Wonder Woman or Daenerys Taragaryen from “Game of Thrones” for example. But both were created by men. Wonder Woman is the sex fetish character of William Moulton Marston, who hit his own wife. And of course, the dragon-riding Daenerys is just another male fantasy.
Always the same tune? Jason Statham, John Wayne and Dwayne Johnson play the “strongman”. Photo: dpaWhen did you realize how problematic these narrative patterns are?
That took a while. I used to be a big pop literature fan and really enjoyed reading books by David Foster Wallace, Christian Kracht and Benjamin von Stuckrad-Barre. I also checked out “Star Wars”, “Game of Thrones” or the superhero stories from Marvel and DC. But at some point I felt that I felt blatantly underchallenged. I figured there must be better stories. The fact that certain perspectives are regularly neglected then seeped into my consciousness through books such as Klaus Theweleit’s “Men’s Fantasy”. And about thousands of conversations with my partner Stephanie, with whom I later founded the Institute for Critical Male Studies. In retrospect, I have to say: In relationships, it shouldn’t actually be the task of women to send men through the entire emotional school. But of course I am super grateful to her. Without her and without feminist reading, I wouldn’t be who I am today. Nevertheless, I am only at the beginning. I continue to learn how to act pro-feminist as a man. My goal is to make even more men want to get to know new perspectives. I am convinced that we can only win from this.
There seems to be a growing number of groups – at least on the internet – that are looking at the subject of masculinity from different perspectives. Does that give you courage for the future?
Forecasts say that it will take another 120 years until we have achieved de facto equality in Germany. And only if there is no reactionary backlash from traditional masculinities. Because groups that mobilize for the patriarchy are springing up everywhere again. If you look around the web for incel and pick-up artist forums, it’s shocking what you find. Coaches who go into the woods with men, form sweat groups, hug trees and yell out their feelings – the mythopoetic men’s movement is currently experiencing a renaissance. In these groups, it’s all about men talking about their feelings – which you can definitely find positive. Only in the second step do you realize how anti-feminist it all is. So I would always judge groups of men by how they talk about women. Are women allowed to participate at all? Is there more in-depth structural criticism? If not, the men’s groups only strengthen themselves. And men’s groups are poison for diversity and cultural wealth.
TO PERSON
Christoph May grew up in the GDR, studied literature and now lives in the Palatinate Forest. From there he pursues his work as a male researcher, consultant and lecturer. Together with the writer Stephanie May, he heads the Institute for Critical Studies in Men.
The idea: In his seminars, the 41-year-old calls on men to question their privileges in order to accelerate equal rights for women.
Info: www.christophmay.eu
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