Alzheimer’s disease is the most common form of dementia. Someone with Alzheimer’s develops problems with memory. As the disease worsens, a person has increasing difficulty with daily living skills and does not get better. This also applies to Loes. When Loes’ partner died, Melita noticed that something was wrong with Loes. “My mother liked to go to the market or have coffee somewhere. But she did that less and less. She also needed more care,” Melita explains. “A place became available in a nursing home. And now my mother lives in a nursing home for people with dementia with a Surinamese cultural background. She really enjoys it there and feels very much at home and so do I. I come here often, just like my brothers and sister,” says Melita.
Melita calls her mother a real star: “My mother was a kindergarten teacher in Suriname. When she came to the Netherlands she started providing foster care. My brothers and I were already older. She was a single mother. Yet she had the energy and love to be a good foster parent for children in crisis care.” Melita and Loes were, and still are, inseparable. Melita has learned a lot from her mother: “I have learned how important it is to continue to enjoy. It is sometimes very sad, and certainly not easy. But you should cherish the moments you have together. I really learned that from my mother.” Yet that is not always easy: “Sometimes I have a crying fit at home,” says Melita.
Loes and Melita are both actresses and they share a great passion: music. They have always sang together and still enjoy doing so. Alzheimer’s has changed little about that. Last year the two were in the theater together. “Unfortunately, that is no longer possible, because my mother is in a wheelchair. But we still sing. My mother is no longer able to express herself properly. She babbles a lot incomprehensibly. But when we sing, she knows all the lyrics. Then she happily sings along.”
“I notice that my mother has entered a different phase. She is confused, sometimes angry. Then she doesn’t want anything. She also can’t explain what she means. Then I get a call for advice. If I can, I’ll visit. When we watch videos or photos from the past together, she calms down,” Melita explains. “When my mother was diagnosed, she immediately asked: ‘Isn’t there a cure?’” Unfortunately, there is currently no cure for Alzheimer’s. Melita therefore finds it extra important to share her story. It is not easy for her to accept that her mother is not getting better: “The impact of dementia is enormous. It makes you powerless. My mother’s world is getting smaller. We have to accept that. We have to move along, not the other way around.”
A lot of research is needed into Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia. This provides increasingly better insights into the causes of dementia, prevention, treatment and support. Alzheimer Nederland stimulates and finances research in various ways. Thanks to the participants of the Postcode Lottery, Alzheimer Netherlands has received more than 2.1 million euros in the past five years.
Would you like to read more about Alzheimer Netherlands? Then click here.
2024-01-09 16:02:39
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