"Maxime Meiland's Revealing Book: Parenting, Past Trauma, and Family Bond"

Photography: Mark Groeneveld

In Kek Mama 5 tells Maxime Meiland about her revealing book, claiming toddlers in the schoolyard, her special family bond and growing up without hugs.

For two years, Maxime doubted whether she should go for her book Maxime – abused, derailed and now… happy! “rekindle all that old shit again,” until suddenly she felt very strongly that she could handle it. And that it was necessary to speak out. Maximes bad experiences in the past have a lot of influence on her motherhood, she says. She is constantly aware of possible danger.

“I would never take my daughters to a shelter where a man works. That may sound hysterical, but I really don’t dare to take that risk. I just don’t trust men, so even when Claire started primary school for the first time, I fired one question after another at the headmistress: will she have a teacher or a master, who will teach her PE? Inside I know that not every man is wrong, but that fear is so deep in my system: I can’t manage to become more relaxed about it.

“I would never take my daughters to a shelter where a man works”

The fact that five-year-old Claire sometimes gives ‘kisses’ to her best friend already causes a slight panic for Maxime. “I understand that it is innocent, but at the same time I think: is that already starting? The idea of Claire ever really getting a boyfriend… girl, I can’t bear to think about it!”

Read also – Patricia about sexually transgressive behaviour: ‘Suddenly I felt his hand on my side’ >

Back to normal

Fortunately, that will take a while. Yet Maxime does not want her daughters to be frightened by her reactions. In that respect she has a good one in her husband Leroy. “He comes from a warm, stable nest and doesn’t really know any real misery. When I go off track, he pulls me back to normal by reminding me that not every man is wrong. He corrects me. Just like my sister, by the way, she is also such a down-to-earth person.”