“My husband and I arrived at Schiphol with our trolley suitcases. We saw our girlfriend standing in front of the departure hall. She was desperately sucking on a cigarette, almost as if her life depended on it. “So, is it already starting?” joked I. She looked at me with eyes that spewed fire. “If you make one more comment about smoking, I’ll make your vacation hell!” she shouted angrily. I was startled by her fierceness and resolved to to remain calm for days and say nothing more about this.”
“I was seven years old when my father fell ill. Everyone smoked at that time. When my uncle – my father’s brother – died of lung cancer, my father decided to have himself examined in the hospital. He had no real complaints, only a smoker’s cough. He turned out to have lung cancer, fortunately it had not yet spread. During an operation, his left lung was removed.
While my father was having surgery I made a beautiful drawing for him at home. My aunt, an inveterate smoker, was with us and lit a cigarette. She asked if I wanted a puff. I was curious so took a drag, and that’s when my mom walked in. She became furious. After that I never touched a cigarette again.”
Changed by lung cancer
“Even in my teenage years, the age at which many people start smoking, I was not tempted. I was at the atheneum, few people smoked there anyway and my friends didn’t want to know anything about it either. So there was no pressure from outside. And even if there had been, at home I saw the example why I really didn’t want to smoke.
My dad was just fifty when he got lung cancer: a big strong guy, always out in the open for his work as a contractor. Now he was suddenly at home. He couldn’t do anything anymore, was always stuffy and wheezing. That such a tree of a guy had changed so much touched me enormously.”
“So it is not surprising that I became an anti-smoker. I even made it my job. I am an expert in the field of smoking cessation and I help people stop smoking in one go. But it is certainly not so that I banned smokers from my life. For example, I became friends with my domestic help. A nice person with whom I could laugh. At my house she smoked on my balcony between work. I could handle those few butts.
And so it happened that two years ago my husband and I went to Seville with this friend and five others for a week. We had rented a nice apartment with a swimming pool. We would explore the city, eat good food and have a good time together. At least, that was the intention, but it already went wrong at the airport.”
Bite my tongue
“There was also an incident on arrival at Seville. Our group consisted of four smokers and four non-smokers. The first thing the smokers did was light up a cigarette when we were outside. A taxi was waiting for us, but it drove off when the puff took too long I really had to bite my tongue We got to our apartment and the next morning I walked out to the courtyard to eat a sandwich.
At the big table my girlfriend was smoking, I was sitting opposite her. A friend joined us and also wanted a cigarette. He suggested that she take a smoke somewhere else because I was eating. Again she lashed out angrily, “You don’t think I’m going to sit somewhere else for him, do you?” She glared at me, then deliberately blew her smoke my way. At that point I was done with her, and actually with the whole holiday.”
“Smoking remained one thing in the group. I was not used to being on holiday with smokers and always taking that into account. A dichotomy arose. The smokers never wanted to walk and always took a taxi for everything, while the non-smokers were fitter and wanted to see a lot of the city. Everything revolved around smoking during dinner. They wanted a cigarette between each course, and they even lit it at the table. Without making excuses or asking if we didn’t find that annoying.
Fortunately, that is not allowed on a terrace in Spain, so they were sent away by the restaurant owner to go smoke somewhere else. They were puffing across the street and then the stench was carried to our table.”
Terrible week
“You don’t have to stop smoking at all from me, but be respectful and considerate of each other. That didn’t happen, the whole planning revolved around the butts. I held back very nicely and said nothing more about smoking, but the holiday was also ruined.
Often I just read in our room, because I didn’t want to sit in the smoke and escape the tension. But then I was again accused of withdrawing and ‘not having fun’. All this caused me a lot of stress. It really was a terrible week and I was glad when it was over. Once at Schiphol, I grabbed my suitcase from the belt and didn’t even say goodbye.”
“Never again will I go on holiday with smokers, I know that for sure after this experience. We still have contact with one couple from this holiday, but no longer with the rest. The relationship with my smoking girlfriend has been ruined. Very occasionally we still text , but that’s it. It’s a pity that she immediately felt so attacked and that it was impossible to talk about this, while she knows about my father and why I can sometimes react emotionally when it comes to smoking.”
Breaks friendships
“The biggest misconception about smoking is that it is an addiction. Nicotine is addictive, but smoking itself is a learned behavior, a habit that is between the ears and can be easily switched off there. But not everyone wants to be helped. I accept that, but it is a shame. Smoking not only destroys your health, but also friendships.”
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