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“Madame Web: A Disastrous Marvel Movie and Dakota Johnson’s Unforgettable Press Tour”

Madame Web: A Disastrous Marvel Movie and Dakota Johnson’s Unforgettable Press Tour

The release of Madame Web, the latest Marvel movie, has been nothing short of a disaster. Critics have panned it, calling it “dumb and schlocky,” an “unholy mess,” and a “janky rip-off made by people afraid of legal action.” Consumer apathy has also contributed to its abysmal box office performance, making it the lowest-grossing opening weekend of any Spidey-adjacent movie in this century. The film’s failure has not only killed off any hopes of a potential franchise but has also left a lasting impact on the careers of those involved. Madame Web is destined to be a Hollywood punchline for years to come.

However, amidst the chaos and disappointment, there is one silver lining – Dakota Johnson’s press tour. Johnson, who was well aware of the film’s quality (or lack thereof) and even fired her representation after completing it, has approached her interviews with a devil-may-care attitude that has left publicists in a frenzy. Her candid and carefree demeanor has become the highlight of Madame Web’s promotional campaign.

In an interview with Entertainment Weekly before the film’s release, Johnson discussed the challenges of working on a big-budget movie. She admitted to never having to react to nonexistent explosions in front of a blue screen before, calling the process “absolutely psychotic.” She even expressed uncertainty about her own performance, saying, “I don’t know if this is going to be good at all! I hope that I did an OK job!” Unfortunately, her comments were misconstrued, leading to headlines proclaiming, “Dakota Johnson says making Madame Web was absolutely psychotic.”

Adding fuel to the fire, Johnson hinted at significant changes to the script in an interview with The Wrap. She mentioned that there were drastic alterations but couldn’t disclose any details. These comments painted a picture of an actor who despised the film she was a part of. However, Johnson clarified that she hadn’t actually seen Madame Web, making it impossible for her to dislike it. “I don’t know when I’ll see it,” she remarked dismissively. “Someday.” She even admitted to having seen only a mere “4%” of Marvel movies, further emphasizing her detachment from the project.

Madame Web became the target of ridicule from the moment its first trailer was released. The trailer included a cringe-worthy line that quickly became a meme: “He was in the Amazon with my mom when she was researching spiders right before she died.” When asked about the reaction to this line, Johnson responded with indignant outrage, questioning whether any sentence could be funny out of context. She then repeated the line, stating that it seemed like a basic storyline to her. This spirited defense against criticism is precisely what studios hope for from their talent, although it appears someone thought better of the line as it didn’t make it into the final cut of the film.

Nevertheless, Johnson truly came alive in interviews when the topic shifted away from Madame Web. She animatedly described her cameo in the finale of The Office as “honestly the worst time of my life” during an interview with Seth Meyers. On a recent hosting stint on Saturday Night Live, she proposed a “nepo baby truce” with two fellow cast members who also have famous parents, highlighting the struggles they face in the industry. Even an earthquake interrupting an interview brought relief to Johnson, momentarily freeing her from the burden of promoting her ill-fated film.

Sadly, the film has been released, and Johnson has moved on from the promotional treadmill. However, if audiences rally and support Madame Web enough to turn it into a profitable venture, we may have the chance to witness Johnson’s unconventional charm once again in a sequel.

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