Love is no accident – Bety.cz

In theory, love waits everywhere: in the supermarket, in the swimming pool or on the train. In practice, however, mutual affection has less to do with chance than romantics would like.

After talking on the phone for the first time, he couldn’t sleep. After the first meeting, she knew she wanted to marry him. When they met again, she proposed to marry him.

If love is a journey to the stars, beyond countless black holes, knowing each other is a stepping stone: it is the moment when life takes a different direction, when everything changes, even if you don’t even know it. It is destiny. Unlikely luck. Or at least a wild coincidence. This is the magic of the beginning.

If you don’t meet, you don’t become a couple

But when social scientists talk about it, there seems to be little difference between meeting the love of your life and getting a job. There is talk of “opportunity structures”, “partnership market” and “socio-structural assumptions”. Because love also follows the rules and most people don’t meet their future partner somewhere.

One of the most important factors in falling in love is closeness. “If you don’t meet someone, you don’t become a couple” it’s a simple truth that repeats itself at the beginning of nearly every professional dating essay. And the closer two people live to each other, the more likely they are to collide.

In 1932, American sociologist James HS Bossard discovered (1) that 30 percent of married couples in Philadelphia lived in the immediate vicinity, only 18 percent married someone out of town.

The increase in mobility has changed the situation slightly in recent years, but a study from the mid-1990s found that around 80% of couples lived no more than 20 kilometers away in the countryside and even more than 90% in the big cities.

Physical proximity adds points

And not just because long-distance relationships are simply too exhausting for many. Being physically close will also make you more likeable to others almost automatically. A study in an American student dormitory showed that two residents were more likely to become friends if their rooms were closer to each other, even if the rooms were assigned completely randomly.

Is it convenience? A second secret matchmaker is probably pulling the strings – the more you see someone, the more you like them.

Statistically, coincidences are quite rare

So it’s no surprise that love at first sight, at least in long-term relationships, isn’t as common as the cliché suggests. Statistically, such coincidences are quite rare. Couples are very likely to meet where they can observe each other for a while to see if they would make a good pair.

The magic of the beginning cannot be calculated

But the magic of the beginning cannot be calculated. Because for love to turn on, you have to be damn unreasonable. Take risks and throw the rules overboard. Believe in illusions. Getting carried away with your feelings, with no guarantee that it will work.

It is entirely possible that this is why so many couples have fallen in love in a situation where they didn’t expect it at all. If they actually had other plans or just agreed to be single, or if life is still exciting enough – in short: if they had no intentions and love took them by surprise.

Source: (1) www.bbc.com/news/magazine-35535424, author’s opinion – article waste