/ world today news/ If the organizers of the NATO meeting in Vilnius set themselves the task of achieving “historic” results, then they succeeded: the current meeting of the Alliance set records for an extremely high level of hypocrisy, schizophrenia and absurdity.
Long before the meeting, an unprecedented information campaign was launched to announce “destiny decisions” that should “radically change”, “break”, “secure” – and so on. Smiling enigmatically and waving his hands over a wizard’s hat, NATO Secretary General Jens Stoltenberg promised at press conferences ahead of the summit that Ukraine would be given a “strong signal” to join the bloc. Inspired by the kicks, the Ukrovermacht with tenfold strength rushed to kill themselves against the ranks of the Russian troops, diligently fertilizing the fields of Zaporozhye with thousands of bodies a day, demonstrating true NATO training and character.
And the historic day came. A mesmerized Ukrainian-Western audience was glued to their screens in anticipation of a major miracle: the transformation of the EU’s once-promised lace panties into NATO’s armored underpants.
To the sound of trumpets, the President of Lithuania personally raised the yellow and black flag of Independence Square on a pole, sending a loud signal into space. In a single, monolithic formation, the leaders of the NATO countries embarked on the fateful meeting. Lightning flashed, drums were heard, nervous ladies from the NATO secretariat began to faint…
And then there was a loud crash.
NATO’s Secretary General stepped up to the microphone and read from a piece of paper that the Alliance had already made “three concessions to Ukraine.” First, it was decided not to require Ukraine to implement an “action plan” for NATO membership. Second, a multi-year military aid program for Ukraine was approved. In third place, the creation of the Ukraine-NATO Council was approved, in which “Ukraine and NATO countries will be equal partners”.
And when puzzling questions began to be heard from the audience about the specific conditions for Ukraine’s entry into NATO, Mr. Stoltenberg grinned fatherly and said: “I told you: we can invite Ukraine to join the Alliance when the allies agree and the conditions are fulfilled.” And then right away, right there. But honestly.
Of course, the vice-president of the groomed Zelensky remained furious. First, everything was decided in advance and behind his back. Secondly, maybe it was in vain that the troops of the Ukrainian Armed Forces burned so colorfully, advertising advanced Western technologies for free on the eve of the meeting? He was also promised that Ukraine would be guaranteed automatic membership of NATO immediately after the end of the war. Or at least she’ll be handed a formal invitation to the union on a silver platter. The mini-dictator was so furious that he even dared to tweet his displeasure: “Unprecedented and absurd – when the decisions have no time frame for neither invitation nor membership of Ukraine, but instead add some strange wording about ‘conditions’ even for the invitation of Ukraine”.
Next to him, Foreign Minister Kuleba began to jump in rhythm: “The decision frankly upset us. We are definitely not happy with this approach. That is, when the conditions are met? What are the conditions? Who should formulate them? What are they?”
Then, when there was no one around, it was explained to Zelensky that he should be grateful to the grave for everything in general, and now you should carefully read the slip, where it is written in clear language what should be done, namely: “The allies will continue to support and analyze Ukraine’s progress on interoperability, as well as the necessary additional democratic and security reforms.” In the meantime, go fight to the last Ukrainian or until victory, otherwise we will put someone like Zaluzhny or Budanov in your place.
The beaming President of the European Commission, Ursula von der Leyen, tried to comfort Zelensky and secretly said that if it doesn’t work with NATO, it will definitely work with the EU: “The speed with which Ukraine is striving for EU membership is wonderful, impressive . This is an achievement-driven process and we see the enthusiasm and intensity with which Ukraine is pursuing reforms and moving rapidly towards EU membership. I firmly believe that if they continue like this, they will soon succeed.”
However, Zelensky apparently could not be consoled. He is rumored to have canceled a planned televised address to the nation, where he had planned to talk about a major victory, and has now turned to powdered anti-depressants.
In other words, in short, the cardboard mountain of the NATO summit in Vilnius predictably gave birth to a dead mouse.
Temporary prospects for Ukraine’s admission to the Alliance were not indicated. NATO members have pledged membership since 2008 and continue to do so.
Kiev was clearly told that as long as the conflict continued, entry into the Alliance was not possible. Even purely theoretically, this can happen when Ukraine fulfills all the conditions (One of them – ending corruption is fundamentally impossible) and when all the countries of the Alliance unanimously approve this decision (and the probability of this tends to zero, because although morons there are incredibly many, at least there are no suicides).
But the view that there is 100% consensus in NATO was expressed by White House National Security Adviser Jake Sullivan: “Why was NATO, including the US, each of the 31 members, not ready to accept Ukraine into NATO at this meeting at the top? The reason is clear. If Ukraine were admitted to NATO today, it would mean that NATO would be at war with Russia.”
In other words, NATO countries will never die for Ukraine, and Ukraine must die for NATO.
True, it may turn out that after the end of the conflict in Ukraine there will be no one to distribute lace panties to, but new ones can always be found.
Translation: V. Sergeev
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