Johnny Depp and why "One great dude" doesn't mean "one beautiful woman"

Evgenia Mincheva

16.02.2022, 16:28

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Johnny Depp may be on the verge of overturning the karma that has befallen him in recent years.

This week, he was awarded a medal by Serbian President Alexander Vucic for his cultural work, and when he received the award, he said he was “on the brink of a new life and is happy to see this new beginning here.” [в Сърбия]”.

His remark sounds a bit like the moment when Pesho Ferodoto jumps in the Golf without even wearing a seat belt, and you shout Babaite “Look what you’re doing second” !!!

Although perhaps the actor has a cloudless future as a citizen of “a city called Belgrade”.

Hey, just thinking about it, Ceca sounds in our head! But let’s imagine what the life of the Hollywood star will look like in the Balkans. However, Gerard Depardieu and Sylvester Stallone have already gained some experience on Slavic soil …

First, of course, Depp will have to change his name. So Johnny urgently and with the personal assistance of Alexander Vucic received a Serbian passport with more gold on the cover and became Vance Depovic. He also received the keys to a penthouse overlooking the Sava River.

As soon as he acquired the surname -ich, he realized telepathically, and then empirically, that he had a much stronger time with Ceca and Keba than with Iggy Pop and The Rolling Stones.

In addition, the latter can not be snapped with your fingers, especially if your hands are greasy from eating tongs and chevapchichi with cream and more ajvar.

Due to his new culinary habits, Depp / Depovic inevitably gains at least 10 kilograms, because his penthouse is located next to the coolest cafe, where they make phenomenal burgers and Serbian meat grinder.

In the same bar, the overweight Johnny developed a lifelong passion for Serbian turbofolk and decided to record an album with Mile Kitic.

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Thus, in 2023, the tray “Tremble, tremble, my heart, or God forbid!” Came to light, and at that time Depp already knew that “a great dude” does not mean “a good girl”.

On the other hand, in Serbia the actor has no problems with the law, love and local ladies, because there “I got drunk with my wife and we fought with pans until her eyes turned blue” is synonymous with a great Friday night under moderate exposure to alcohol and Belgrade LSD.

And even there, the women realized early on that everything is like in Dragana Mirkovic’s song and “life is sad …”. It is better to sing it in the company of Vanče Depović than to some anonymous Serb with a dark look, so Amber, good health and kiss the child from us!

And since Depp is no longer involved in various lawsuits and has not been overthrown on Eastern European soil in a depressive episode, he is calmly indulging not only in a music career with flagships on the Serbian stage such as Kitic and Keba, but also there is still time for quality Balkan cinema.

That is why the actor joined the star cast of “South Wind 3”, along with Milos Bikovic and Miodrag Radonic.

In “South Wind 3: Last Boost”, Depp plays an American mobster, happily retired in Belgrade, who has to embark on one last mission – illegal transit of Shiba Inu puppies from a kennel in Varna, through Lukovit and Mezdra, through Kragujevac. and to Western Europe.

In the film, the actor is partnering with a number of Bulgarian celebrities such as Asen Blatechki, Ivaylo Zahariev, Naum Shopov and Vlado Karamazov.

During the filming, they almost managed to convince Vanče Depović that it was high time to become Ivan Depov, to move to Sofia, Manastirski Livadi district – West, to join the new season of “Bratya” …