Jimmy Kimmel Pokes Fun at Hollywood in Oscars Monologue
The Open Monologue
Jimmy Kimmel didn’t hold back in his opening Oscars monologue, addressing various hot topics within the Hollywood industry during the Sunday ceremony.
Humorous Jabs
Kimmel, who is hosting the Oscars for the fourth time, started the night by congratulating the audience for being on time. He jokingly mentioned that the show started an hour early this year but assured that it would still run very late. He quipped, “We’re already five minutes late, and I’m not even joking.”
In his monologue, the comedian also took aim at the recent box office failure, “Madame Web,” stating, “It was also a great year for movies, despite the fact that everything stopped. The people in this room somehow managed to come up with so many excellent films and memorable performances. This night is full of enormous talent, and untold potential, but so was ‘Madame Web.'”
He didn’t miss an opportunity to joke about “Barbie” director Greta Gerwig not receiving a best director nomination, playfully saying, “Now, Barbie is a feminist icon, thanks to Greta Gerwig, who many believed deserved to be nominated for Best Director tonight. Hold on a second. I know you’re clapping, but you’re the ones who didn’t vote for her, by the way. Don’t act like you had nothing to do with this.”
Kimmel also poked fun at Robert Downey Jr.’s Hollywood redemption story, acknowledging that he is at “one of the highest points of his career.” As the actor playfully tapped his nose, Kimmel jokingly remarked, “Was that too on the nose or a drug motion you made? Look at him, he’s so handsome, so talented, he’s won every award there is to win. Is that an acceptance speech in your pocket or do you just have a very rectangular penis? 20 years ago, Robert played the villain, and correct me if I have this wrong, in a movie where Tim Allen turns into a dog, right? And if you ever decide to remake that film, I have just the guy to play Tim Allen. That is — where is he? Messi. Even though he’s a dog, he may have given the performance of the year in ‘Anatomy of a Fall.’ He has an overdose scene. I haven’t seen a French actor vomit like that since Gérard Depardieu.”
One of the common complaints during award season is the length of movies, to which Kimmel also commented on. He playfully teased, “There were so many great movies that held audiences captive this year. And I mean that literally. Your movies were too long this year. The average length of the top ten movies was 2 hours and 23 minutes. That’s up 30 minutes from three years ago. When I went to see ‘Killers of the Flower Moon,’ I had my mail sent to the theater. It’s so long, you could drive to Oklahoma and solve the murders yourself.”
Meticulous Preparation
Before the ceremony, Kimmel spoke about the challenges of narrowing down pop culture targets for the big night. He admitted, “I have three times as much material as I need. I have to figure out what to cut and what to keep. That’s difficult because you do fall in love with jokes and then you hate to cut them. You know you have a good show when you’re cutting good jokes.”
This is Jimmy Kimmel’s second consecutive year hosting the Oscars and he is notably remembered for making headlines with his jokes about Will Smith slapping Chris Rock at the previous ceremony in 2022.
“We want you to have fun, feel safe, and, most importantly, we want me to feel safe,” added Kimmel, addressing the star-studded audience. “So, we have strict policies in place. If anyone in this theater commits an act of violence at any point during the show, you will be awarded the Oscar for best actor and permitted to give a 19-minute long speech. But seriously, the academy has a crisis team in place. If anything unpredictable or violent happens during the show, sit there and do absolutely nothing. Maybe even give the assailant a hug.”
