“I felt lonely after my psychoses,” says Japke. Immediately after giving birth, she searched the Internet for stories of experiences. She wanted to know if there were other women who had experienced it and how they had dealt with it.
She didn’t know who to call to discuss her insecurities or how long it would take for her to fully trust herself again. “I couldn’t find anything, not even where to go with my questions. During pregnancy and delivery you will be physically examined fully, but not in case of sudden depression, depression or psychosis.”
The most beautiful photos and stories of pregnant bellies and beautiful babies are often shared on social networks. From cuddles, to breastfeeding that starts without problems, to lying comfortably in bed and being pampered. It looks like the pink cloud that women who have just given birth strive for.
But the reality is often different.
Sleep deprivation, motherhood tears, cracked nipples, getting used to a different body. Being sad or even ending up in depression or psychosis. Not everyone is showered with happiness after giving birth.
Honest and true stories
The creators of the “jumping bible” Oops, I’m growing up! (the book many new parents read about a child’s mental development) wanted to tell mothers’ true and honest stories about pregnancy, childbirth, and life with a baby. Twenty famous women share the book ‘Honestly’ their story.
One of them is influencer Japke Janneke. His son Len turns one year old this Saturday. He’s still not the same person he was before the pregnancy. “I gave birth on a Friday around 1pm last year. It was a quick delivery. I was induced at 39 weeks because I was having a tough time mentally, I didn’t want to be pregnant anymore.”
Japke looks back on birth positively. Five hours later they were allowed to go home. He stared at Len all night, the maternity worker and her parents showed up the next day. “It was actually a relaxed Saturday. I was in my normal clothes and pretty active, sitting on the couch and buying my parents coffee.”
At the end of the day, breastfeeding just didn’t work. Motherhood and her parents were gone. Her friend Kai was cooking. “Thoughts raced through my head like a whirlwind. Breastfeeding, cooking, how the day had been. It happened so fast I lost control. I couldn’t keep up with my brain and ne I was very aware.”
“Something crazy is happening in my head”
As she ate ping pong, the thoughts still crossed her mind. Japke told her friend that things weren’t going well, that something strange was happening and that it scared her. “She said I looked weird, but she didn’t know what to do.”
Kai called the maternity assistant, who didn’t even know. The midwife advised to go back to the hospital. “I knew it was wrong and I could already see myself behind closed doors with Kai and Len out of reach. This made me completely anxious.”
What is Postpartum Psychosis?
Postpartum psychosis is also known as puerperal psychosis. It affects 1 in 1000 women and is therefore rare. If it happens, it’s often in the first week or first four weeks after giving birth. In postpartum psychosis, a woman suffers from delusions and has lost touch with reality. As the course is unpredictable, professional help should be called.
Source: Mental Correlation
At the hospital, she reported to the maternity ward and was allowed to lie down on a bed. She was eventually sent home with sleeping pills. This helped. Japke did quite well on Sunday, but Len had to go to the hospital on Monday because he looked too yellow. It happened again in the hospital.
This time it was worse. “I felt worse, started having crazy thoughts and said weird things. I couldn’t remember how a door worked and suddenly became very suspicious. I accused Kai of flirting with a nurse.”
Cross out nonsense words
A psychiatrist was summoned, who recognized the psychosis and prescribed antipsychotics. “I absolutely didn’t want to take it, I thought everyone wanted to poison me and they lashed out at the woman who delivered the drugs.”
Eventually Japke took her meds and recovered. After two weeks the drug was reduced, but she found it exciting. “Postpartum psychosis is the worst thing she’s ever experienced. I definitely didn’t want it to happen again.”
She had lost faith in herself and didn’t dare to talk about it at first. Now that she thinks back to that period, she also thinks about the mental aftercare. “There was almost none. The midwife turned me over to the GP, who called a few times and was very nice, but after that I mostly had to process it myself. I didn’t know how.”
“Just before you give birth, you’ll receive comprehensive guidance. You’ll be told what to do if your water breaks and who to call if you’re having contractions. But who do you call if your head isn’t right? For my body, it was child’s play.” , but in my head I already found it very spicy during pregnancy.”
“Oh god, here we go again”
With the help of a psychologist, things are much better now. But there are triggers too, like postpartum photos and dark fall days like a year ago. “I’m still afraid it will happen again. If I can’t get the words right or I can’t remember something right away, I think: oh god, here we go again.”
Japke knows by now that you’re not crazy or weird if this happens to you. It can happen to anyone. That’s why he shared his story about it on his blog and on Instagram. Making women aware of mental vulnerability during pregnancy. “By sharing more about it, I hope to support other women recognizing this. I myself really needed the stories of others and so I like to share my story.”
Postpartum specialist Tilda Klumpenaar also knows that not all women are overflowing with happiness after giving birth. She accompanies mothers in difficulty during and after pregnancy. She also knows from personal experience what it is like to have postpartum depression, she has had it after the birth of her daughter.
“Many women who suffer from mental problems during or after giving birth feel lonely,” says Klumpenaar. “From the moment you give birth it’s busy: midwives, maternity workers, everyone is checking and checking on your body and your baby. After a week everyone leaves and you have to do it yourself. But then the really hard work begins.”
Mental struggle
“If your midwife or maternity caregiver hasn’t noticed your mental struggle, you need to carefully seek out the right help,” Klumpenaar continues. The standard route is through the GP or through a meeting with the GP’s practice assistant. “But often these aren’t postpartum specialists.”
Another possibility is a doll competence center, where a multidisciplinary team of specialists in a hospital talks to (pregnant) women and helps them with psychiatric problems. “But many mothers find this step too intense. They just feel sad or lonely for a long time and don’t know what to do with this feeling.”
Cards, hugs and good intentions
It’s hard to share the fact that you’re actually not happy at all as friends and family shower you with cards, hugs, and good intentions. “However, I would recommend discussing your sad feeling with someone you trust.”
According to Klumpenaar, it would help if there was more accessible mental help during and after a pregnancy. Because early diagnosis and timely help can prevent long-term problems. “There is an absolute need. Unfortunately, mental vulnerability is still taboo for young mothers.”
