“I know my time is limited,” he said. “But I feel like our loss is nothing compared to that of people who have lost loved ones. Have I ever felt sad? Yeah, but that’s not my way of being, obsessing over bad things. I try to think positively. We all have many losses in many ways. Some losses are more relevant than others. The important thing is that if you have a loss, you must allow yourself to be sad. No one can tell you that your feelings are wrong. “
A cancer diagnosis during the confinement
The lockdowns had an immediate financial effect on Annabelle Gurwitch, a Los Angeles writer who missed scheduled projects and conferences. The promotion of You’re Leaving When?: Adventures in Downward Mobility, his new book, became a virtual event. But it was when her daughter’s Bard College graduation took to the internet that she found herself crying in her backyard. He had worked hard and had even created a sobriety club on campus.
“I was very proud that she graduated from college in four years,” she said. “David Byrne was going to be the speaker. There is so much suffering, and I felt terrible about not being able to go to my son’s graduation and see David Byrne. That is not much on the level of suffering. But hey, we supported him all four years. He stopped drinking during college. May I say that we are disappointed?
Around the same time as graduation, Gurwitch developed a cough. She underwent a coronavirus test and chest X-ray, which ultimately led to a diagnosis of stage 4 lung cancer. Following the cancer diagnosis, Gurwitch began to notice that her friends were beginning to downplay her own struggles and her. pain. A friend was diagnosed with breast cancer and underwent a double mastectomy, but she did not want to tell her because she felt that breast cancer was not as serious as lung cancer.
“My cancer had beaten hers,” Gurwitch commented. “It is terrible to feel that your suffering has no place.”
A year of wasted fertility and a lost marriage
Erin, 38, who asked that her full name not be used to protect her privacy, said she had lost another year of fertility during the pandemic closures. After suffering a miscarriage a few years ago, she had been trying to conceive, but her husband did not consider it wise to start a pregnancy during a pandemic. “Mother’s Day came, and I was about to turn 38, and it was clear that I don’t have much time left,” she said. “That biological clock: the ticking is very strong, and it is something very real.”
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