Is it right to let our children believe in Santa Claus? – Corriere.it

it’s really okay to let the little ones believe in Santa Claus? The answer, at first glance, seems obvious: what’s wrong – one would think – in perpetuating the tradition that more than any other helps to generate the unrepeatable magic of winter holidays when you are a child?

According to David Kyle Johnsonprofessor of philosophy at King’s College of Wilkes-Barre (Pennsylvania) and author of the book The myths that stole Christmasof evil actually there: When I speak of the “Santa’s lie”, I am not referring to the whole myth of Santa Claus, but to parents who trick their children into believing that Santa Claus is literally real, he has declared last Friday at BBChighlighting as in cases like thatblind belief should never prevail over the simplest imagination. I think this can erode the trust between a parent and child – he continued -, but I believe that the greatest danger is represented by the anti-critical thinking lessons that are imparted. In his opinion, in fact, the “Santa lie” is part of a parenting practice that encourages people to believe what they want to believe, simply for the psychological reward. And there – he says – really bad for society at large.

Among the problems related to considering Santa Claus actually real, what is perceived as a Big Brother with a long white beard intent on observing every action of the children to evaluate to what extent they deserve his long-awaited gifts. A sort of universal judgment in a consumerist-materialistic sauce, in short. The idea that he’s watching all the time can be a pretty scary concept for kids,” she explained, again at the BBCthe clinical psychologist Rachel Andrews –. Make them think they’re on one imaginary list of villains (moreover for behaviors they have held over the course of what, a whole year? Three or four months?) very contrary to what we know is able to encourage positive behaviors in our children. Also because, as he pointed out Philip N. Cohenprofessor of sociology at the University of Maryland, in this way you are telling them that the gifts they receive depend on the kindness they show. And this, in a world full of inequalities, represents one destructive lesson since it is equivalent to teaching the well-to-do little ones that they get what they want because they are good, while the poor ones don’t do it because they are not good.

No more Santa Claus or gifts under the tree, then? What if, on the contrary, they were excessive and in fact unjustified concerns? As illustrated by the Courier the pedagogist, educator and family mediator Silvia Sellitrithe magical and fantastic dimension is an integral part of the way of thinking of the little ones. Therefore, in his view, feed it through the figure of Santa Claus it can only do well. However, things change when the children themselves begin to ask themselves questions about the world around them: This generally happens around the age of 7-8 – he says -, but each one is obviously different. therefore precisely this limbo is the decisive phase. That is, the one in which it is up to the skill of the parent to perceive if the child is really ready to discover that Santa Claus does not actually exist, but is simply a legend part of the spell of the period. A reflection – this – fully shared by another interviewed by BBCthe psychology professor at Ithaca College in New York Cyndy Slicewho told how in his career he has seen the belief in Santa Claus become problematic only when the parents wanted to perpetrate it beyond the time when the children were ready to know the truth. This yes – according to Sellitri – can trigger the process of erosion of trust mentioned by Johnson.

As for the critical issues identified by Andrews and Cohen, even according to the Italian pedagogist that of merit is a particularly delicate issue because there is the risk that children will be good just to receive a gift in return, not because it is right in itself. Which is not only an unhealthy teaching, but also an ephemeral one, because then as soon as Christmas is over they will start throwing tantrums again. Those same tantrums they had repressed in the hope of receiving the desired gifts. Also in this dynamic reside for problematic aspects, as for Sellitri tantrums, in addition to being completely normal, are an indispensable form of communication which children use to express discomfort in certain situations. Rather than banning them, the expert therefore advises parents to consider them opportunity to find the most suitable educational tools to promote the positive growth of childrenperhaps just by making them understand that there are limits and rules in life, regardless of Christmas and gifts. This way everyone will be better.