Interview: Mental Health in Lawyers

“After my panic attacks I continued to work”

How did that manifest itself?

I had less and less energy and no way to replenish my resources. Because of work, I didn’t have much free time already and when I had time off, I was so tired that I couldn’t enjoy my free time. I started grinding my teeth, my jaw was tensing, and at some point my back hurt. I kept having headaches and developed migraines with aura. I ended up having panic attacks that came out of nowhere. I had to go through that first before I sat down at my desk to continue working.

At some point you realized that things could not go on like this. What did you do then?

After the first exam and even more so after the second exam, I really focused on personal development. I noticed a lot of interesting interfaces with the law – and of course I wanted to cover these topics as an associate, ie help shape the culture of the law firm. But that didn’t work. When I realized that my path should not continue like this, I started training to become a certified business coach at the same time. I was up at the time A warning at a credit institution and had more regular working hours. After about halfway through the training, I gave up my law firm role and focused on coaching training. At the same time, I built up my independence and completed further training, such as becoming a team coach.

“A conscious decision to publish my story”

You left your legal practice at the end of 2021, but only recently spoke publicly for the first time about the fact that you were suffering from burnout at the time. Why did you wait so long?

It wasn’t until much later that I realized I was fired. As part of the coaching training, I dealt with different thought patterns and mental blocks that each of us has in different forms. Example: You always expect perfection from yourself and you always feel that you are not good enough. These patterns are repeated over and over and ultimately lead to an inability to act, especially in stressful situations. These patterns of self-sabotage – along with the stressful external situation – often lead to stress.

But I could not classify that when I was a lawyer. I just felt paralyzed and overwhelmed and I thought I couldn’t handle the stress. Long after I quit, I read an article about burnout rates – and I recognized myself in it.

It was also a very conscious decision to go public with my story to raise awareness of the issue of mental health in the legal industry.

Many people are affected by burnout.

Yes – and of course especially lawyers. Today, when I hold workshops on the topic of “mental health in the legal profession,” it’s exciting to see the conversations grow—just because I’m in a different profession. -now. I’ve never had conversations like that before. But it is also interesting how large the number of unreported cases is and what an issue mental health is in the legal profession.

“In the world of large law firms there is an image of strength and stability”

What could be the reason?

There is an image of strength and emotion, especially in the world of large law firms. You take on the role of a “strong” person. Of course, the job of lawyers is also to represent people and sometimes to pull them out of a mess, so you can’t show weakness. However, this quickly spreads to the whole person, and this can lead to overconfidence. Today I know how important it is to be authentic and build inner strength. This strength allows me to act completely differently without taking into account my own needs or pretending to be a person.

In fact, many lawyers are overworked. But they only realize that they are overloaded when nothing works anymore. What are the first warning signs of a fire that you should not ignore?

The first warning sign is when – like me – you no longer reach your normal energy level and you become tired. It’s worrying when you no longer have the energy for the things you used to enjoy. Many also withdraw radically and neglect their friends and family. You limit yourself more and more and only focus on work or take a break from work. After that, there may be a decrease in performance at work – but I should pay attention to these first warning signs.

“Be completely honest with yourself”

How do you counter this?

First and foremost, it’s about being completely honest with yourself. A burning sign is that you deny yourself, do not take care of your own needs, and at some point do not even notice them at all. You shouldn’t let it get that far.

But many people persist and are eager to finish one project and then the next. That’s why it’s important to strengthen self-awareness and consciously take time for it in everyday life – and then act according to your own needs. Often it doesn’t have to be a career change. If I generally enjoy my job as a lawyer in a large law firm, I don’t have to quit. But I should find out why I lack energy and what thought patterns and obstacles are holding me back.

You have to break through these structures so you don’t put extra stress on yourself and destroy yourself. And I should take time to rejuvenate – this is a given in first class sports, but unfortunately not yet in the working world.

In some cases this is not enough.

No. For example, if I act against my values ​​during my work, sometimes I need a career change. Such a conflict of values ​​takes up a lot of energy. If work-life balance is important to me but all I have to do is work, I can maintain that for a certain period of time, but at some point I can’t anymore. Or if my skills lie somewhere else entirely. If I’m good at communication and interpersonal skills, but my job is just looking at my laptop and doing stuff, I’ll be unhappy in the long run. Change is unpleasant at first, but in such cases it is sensible and necessary in the long run.

“Few people really know what they want”

Do you see the reasons for greater job dissatisfaction in the lawyers or in the big law firms?

You should always start with yourself first. In my coaching sessions, I notice that very few people know themselves or really know what they want. They depend on where you earn a lot of money, how well the profession is recognized in society or where the best career opportunities are.

This creates many subsequent problems that lead to this widespread unhappiness. You then choose reasons why you are dissatisfied without recognizing and changing the main problem. In coaching sessions, I often start with an inventory in which the different areas of work are broken down. My clients are then asked to choose what is particularly important to them – and sometimes they then realize that their work doesn’t fit at all. But it always depends on that person. So it’s not basically the fault of the law firms – but it’s obvious that the way they work there plays a part.

How much?

The working hours are one thing. But many of my clients also miss the interaction in the law firms, the teamwork and the respect. In my opinion, many law firms need to do better. In addition, as a first year fellow you should feel that you are doing your part.

And: In my opinion, the work must be much more people-oriented. Flexibility is needed to be able to respond to individual needs and it must also be possible to follow a person’s private interests. It requires a trusting, appreciative relationship where you are seen as a person and not just a “work tool”.

Thanks for the chat!

Felicitas Kapp was a lawyer in a large law firm for two years. She has been working as a certified business, mental and team coach since October 2021. She mainly coaches lawyers and gives workshops on mental health in law firms.