Ida tried to kill herself three times – An important message for everyone who is having a hard time right now – 2024-02-18 21:10:56

Ida Suomalainen26, has dealt with mental health issues so deeply that they led to three suicide attempts.

Nowadays, the single mother of two children looks at the world with positive eyes and wants to support other peers as an experience expert.

– I want to help and encourage others through my experiences. I’ve been really down and up from there. If I can save even one person through my story, I will be extremely happy.

– I remind other people suffering from mental health problems that everything can be overcome. It is important to notice even the smallest positive things, because they give strength. At the same time, it is important to ask for and receive help. There is no reason to be ashamed.

The Finn’s childhood was accompanied by problems at home, as his parents suffered from drug addiction.

– They used a lot of alcohol, which is why they argued a lot. The situation caused me insecurity and a bad feeling.

– However, as a child I didn’t know how to find the situation particularly strange, because I didn’t know that my friends’ parents didn’t drink every day.

The Finn was also bullied at school. It manifested mainly as being left outside. He was not accepted.

– I was also called names, which of course felt very bad. There was some physical bullying as well. One older boy, for example, pushed me hard towards the edge of the rink while skating.

The Finn did not want to talk about the bullying to the teachers. The reason for that was previous events.

– My older brother had been bullied, and he told about it. After that, the mother had gone on a rampage at school, which only made the situation worse. I decided not to tell anyone about my bullying.

Cannabis is available

The Finn’s situation at home and at school gradually worsened. When he was ten years old, the family moved to another place.

– The bullying stopped for a while, but started quite soon in a new place as well.

There were also good moments with the parents.

– Riding was an important hobby for me, and I toured a lot with my mother in the name of riding.

Idan was about to turn thirteen when his parents were caught growing cannabis.

– When my mother and I came from the riding competition, I saw a police car in our yard. I still remember the confusion and fear of that moment. I didn’t understand why the police searched our house and why I wasn’t allowed to talk to my parents when I got home.

– My parents were taken from home to pretrial detention, and my grandmother came to support us. The whole event was very confusing and distressing. Growing cannabis was a complete surprise to me.

Since the family lived in a small town, word of the event soon spread.

– I tried to keep the scene up, but it turned out to be useless. At the same time, the bullying got worse and triggered depressive symptoms in me.

– In the school’s health information class, mental health problems and cutting were discussed. After that, I decided to try it myself, so I learned it worked differently than it was intended. The pain caused by the incision eased, and through that I got a reason for the pain inside my head, even though the pain I experienced was physical.

The situation is getting worse

The Finn’s cutting worsened quickly, and soon it was a daily occurrence. He told his friends about it, which helped a little, but the slashing didn’t stop.

At the same time, good things happened. When the parents got out of pretrial detention, they wanted to get sober.

– They started going to the AA club and thanks to that they got rid of drugs. My parents have been dry ever since.

However, the Finn’s bad feeling did not go away. At the age of fifteen, the black lump swirling in his head had grown out of control. He was referred to the hospital for ward treatment through the school health service.

– I was there for a few weeks, but I didn’t feel better. I still felt like I didn’t want to live anymore.

The last blow was a failed dating relationship. The Finn then decided to implement his plan. Fortunately, the attempt was not successful.

– The main thing was self-loathing, because again I didn’t succeed in what I tried.

– I had a psychiatric appointment the next morning. I reported what had happened, but it was completely ignored and practically no attention was paid to it.

However, the Finn got his thoughts on better tracks. The horse hobby was very important in that, a help that brought positive thoughts. He finished elementary school and went to study to become an animal caretaker.

New try

The beginning of the studies went well, but then the anxiety grew.

– I didn’t have the strength to change. School, taking care of the horse and living alone were too heavy. I also tried therapy but it didn’t work.

The Finn’s days were varied.

– There was not much support from my parents at the time, even though they had sobered up. They have their own problems.

The Finn was admitted to ward treatment again. He was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and features of post-traumatic stress disorder and panic disorder.

– The treatment period was helpful, and I also received medication. The diagnoses were a relief. I understood better why my mood swings.

Finally, at the age of nineteen, the situation escalated again, and Suomalainen tried to commit suicide.

– I was going through a good period, which is why I stopped taking the medicine. I thought I could do without them. When depression hit, it clicked in my head and I decided to kill myself.

– Fortunately, my roommate came home at the same time and interrupted my attempt. He then took me to the hospital.

Ida was transferred from the hospital to ward treatment again. A period of two months calmed the situation.

– However, I wanted to leave in the end, because my boyfriend wanted me to log out. It was a mistake, because I started drinking heavily.

– After some time, I noticed that I was pregnant. It was lucky in that the drinking stopped. However, I was really scared about becoming a mother.

Darkness and light

After the pregnancy started, she went to talk to the doctor from time to time.

– I was able to hold myself together, and luckily nothing worse could happen. My son was finally born premature, for which I blamed myself heavily. Fortunately, the child survived, and everything went well.

Ida, who remained a single parent, however, began to have worse periods, even though there was no more cutting. His parents took on a bigger and bigger role.

– They came to help and support me and my child. Our differences started to mend at that time.

After some time Suomalainen moved to Tampere because of her boyfriend at the time. However, the relationship failed.

– Since my parents were far away, they couldn’t be as supportive as before. I was quite alone.

The situation finally escalated at a party where Suomalainen’s ex-boyfriend was also present.

– He was in a close relationship with another woman. At the same time, something clicked in my head and I decided to try suicide. My child was with my parents at the time.

– At home, I first sent a message to my ex-boyfriend. I apologized for that. After that I prayed.

The savior was Suomalainen’s ex-boyfriend, who came to the scene after being worried about the message. The Finn’s memories are a couple of days after leaving the hospital.

– I was tied to the bed. I had liquid charcoal in my lungs and diapers on my feet. As I lay in bed, I realized that I need to find a new direction for life. This cannot continue.

He made a clear change in his world of thought.

– I regularly visited a psychologist and continued taking medication. I started looking for even the smallest positive things in things. I also started looking for the good in myself, which I hadn’t done before. The first thing I noticed after that was my eyes.

The Finn found a new male friend, and the second child was born in 2022. However, he is now a single parent.

– Despite that, life is good. I enjoy life and my children. I’m happy that my relationship with my parents is also okay, and they are now experts in experience.

Ida Suomalainen’s mother Kaisa Suomalainen summed up his thoughts on his daughter’s events and experience expertise.

– Ida’s life has been harrowing to watch from the side. There has been helplessness in my thoughts when I didn’t know and wasn’t able to help. In the same sense, there is guilt as a failure as a mother.

– As an experience expert, I want to bring hope to people, everything can be overcome. I also hope the professionals understand that there is often some trauma behind the substance abuse problem. I only got relief in my life when the damage to the attachment relationship was repaired in therapy and I learned emotional regulation skills. I try to teach them to others in my work.