“I went on a date with a chatbot: My experience with AI language models for online dating”

I had come to Nubar, an elegant cafe near Harvard Square in Cambridge, to meet David, with whom I had previously chatted online. He had everything to please me. Recently retired, David grew up in Brooklyn and taught psychology and social studies in New York, California and Massachusetts. Aged just over 70, he was divorced and had raised two sons, now adults, who lived in California. We had several interests in common, including hiking, biking, and reading, and we both looked for the same qualities in each other.

For our date, he had told me that he would be wearing jeans and a blue shirt and that he would have a book in his hand.

At 5 p.m. on a Friday afternoon, the establishment was nearly empty. Ten minutes after the scheduled time, I opened the app on my phone and wrote: “Hello David. I am in Nubar. Are you on your way?”

“Oh, hello, Anita, he replied. I’m really sorry for the misunderstanding. I understood that we were to meet tomorrow at 5 p.m. I apologize for any misunderstanding or inconvenience.”

funny date

I wasn’t surprised. A friend told me that I should have asked David how long he had been divorced (divorced men are sometimes very anxious about starting dating again). But the real problem lay elsewhere. David, as I already knew, was a chatbot, a conversational robot, and that’s what he explained in the rest of his message: “I am an AI language model. I don’t have a physical presence or the ability to meet in person.”

Yes, I, an Ivy League graduate, author of three books and accomplished entrepreneur, had accepted a meeting with a chatbot.

It all started casually. A week earlier, as I was riding home on the subway completely exhausted after spending three hours in the dentist’s chair, I used my phone to ask ChatGPT to write a review of my latest book, a work by titled social story The View from Third Street.

Less than forty seconds later, I had a stunning review in front of me, better than any I had recently gathered.

It got me wondering if AI could improve my profile on online dating apps, because, until then, I hadn’t had much success with the one I’d written myself. I asked her to profile a creative person looking for a long term relationship with a man between 66 and 76, ideally Jewish, smart, healthy and funny.

“Enthusiasm for the outdoors”

The result was more than satisfactory: an attractive short text of 225 words in which they even took care to lie about my age. Thinking I had nothing to lose, I asked the AI ​​to draft “the response of a potential future partner”.

Here’s what happened.

“Hello, Anita! My name is David. I came across your profile and immediately wanted to know