The singer at the «Iene» told her path to regain self-esteem: «Even in Sanremo, and with the debut album coming out I was sick. All time. Then I said enough “
She is the most celebrated singer of recent times, but until a few months ago she was probably also the saddest. To tell it, with incredible frankness, it was right Madame, co-host for an evening of “Hyenas”, alongside Nicola Savino. Looking straight into the room, he said: “Tonight I want to talk to you about something that, until a few months ago, I didn’t have. Self-esteem. Self-esteem is loving yourself. Understanding oneself, accepting oneself. Forgive yourself. We must learn to love all of us. Even the worst parts. Those that make us suffer and we would like to change. But if we try to change them by hating who we are, we make a mess we cut everything».
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I’ve been sick for years
The singer then went into details: “Lack of self-esteem is an ugly beast. If you don’t have it, you feel like you’re worthless. Last year I was a guest at X Factor twice. Before going on stage I was alone in the dressing room. I was crying desperately: “What am I doing here?”, “I don’t deserve it”. I didn’t recognize myself. I didn’t love myself. The truth is I’ve been shit for years. Pure a Sanremo, e with the debut album coming out. I was sick. All time. I took anxiolytics like they were water. Stomach closed. I didn’t eat. I was not sleeping. It was a vicious circle. I said: “But the fuck!” “Why do I always have to stay like this?”. At one point it got even worse. Suddenly everything in my life was empty. Without a sense. My mother. My home. My dog. The music. I asked people: “Can you tell me what meaning you give to your life?” Alone I could no longer understand it. It was horrible. An excruciating pain ».
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The recovery
From there, the rebirth: “At that moment I wrote one of my most beautiful sentences: “I’m not afraid of dying, but I’m afraid of wanting to die.” Then I said to myself: that’s enough. You can’t go on like this. I started working every day to find meaning. I looked at the anxiety that had always accompanied me in the face. And I found a way to eliminate it. I said to myself: “Sooner or later you will suffer, but you must not be afraid. Because if you suffer, you will heal yourself. And if you don’t, you will die. And do you know what it is? That everyone, sooner or later, dies ”. We cannot ruin our lives because we are afraid of suffering. Or to die. It’s a huge shit. For me, understanding it was a liberation. I learned not to be a slave to haste, to enjoy the silence, the darkness. I learned to breathe. To accept the things that happen without me being able to control them. To accept me. If you had met me a year ago, you would have said: shit, this is serious. Now I have settled down. I found meaning in love. And I respect myself because I know how to understand, accept and love me. I mean, I’m fine. And even though I haven’t found the cure for sickness, I cured the fear of being sick“. A strong and unexpected speech for many, which showed the more fragile and perhaps even more authentic side of what until a few hours ago was, perhaps too simply, the new talent of Italian music.
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November 2, 2021 (change November 2, 2021 | 23:32)
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