Thanks to social media and dating sites, people find it a lot easier to embrace the hookup culture. These platforms have certainly put a halt to how things would work with old-fashioned courtships. Now, it is not necessarily a bad thing, especially when all that you want is to get laid. If that makes you feel happy, more power to you. It would be different, though, when you want your local adult hookup to be something more and turn into an actual relationship that leads to something like a lifetime companionship.
Lots of Relationships Start as Hookups
Many people think casual relationships that start with a spark and not much else are usually doomed from the get-go. That is not true, and it is perfectly normal if you want your casual relationship to be something more. Quite like all heart matters, it is not always possible for a good relationship to happen instantly. If it is destined to start with casual sex, so be it. In fact, research suggests that couples who become sexually involved as friends but stay open to a serious relationship often end up just as happy as those who prefer to date and wait for long.
Relations that start as casual hookups are not always of lower quality. Those who delay sex are more likely to have rewarding relationships, but it does not mean true love cannot emerge when your interaction starts with a “Sex and the City” approach. When you develop a feeling for your partner, like to stay overnight at their place, and do not mind leaving your stuff at each other’s houses, you may want to think about discussing it with your partner and make it official.
It is worth mentioning that some casual hookups come with a higher possibility of turning into something more serious in nature. For instance, you might not develop any feelings when you engage in sex with no strings attached. You might be having sex with a total stranger found over dating sites in the last hour.
Casual hookups with “friends with benefits” are still a bit murky, but they are still considered relationships and are more likely to develop into something serious. But, when you notice you feel comfortable being around someone you first met online, it is common to think of having something more tangible with them.
Spending Time Together and Having Hobbies Is a Breeding Ground for Feelings
For a serious, long-term relationship, you might want to start by spending more time together. At this point, you do not really need to make your partner aware of your feelings. Resist the temptation to say it just because you want your partner to say the same. No manipulation should be involved, and certainly no crying to grab their attention. Never lie about details only to make them react the way you desire.
Consider their words and actions. Do they call you in the wee hours of the night, and you like to talk about topics other than sex and to get physical? It shows your partner is also open to the idea of making it something special. Put in an effort to spend quality time together outside of the bedroom. Go out with them to decide if they truly are “relationship material.” Continue to work on it and turn it into something “semi-casual” at this stage. Hit a club as a couple, get coffee, visit a museum, check out the latest sporting events, or cook dinner together. Not only will this help you know more about your partner, but it would also send the signal that you are ready to pursue a relationship.
It implies that your goal should be to turn a casual hookup into a real date and then enjoy that dating phase to understand your partner better. Do not try to dominate them or push them to give up their current lives to pursue something completely new.
Sometimes an Ultimatum Is a Push in the Right Direction
Sending subtle signals that you are seriously interested in your casual dating partner is important, but sometimes, you need to take it to the next level. To get results, you need to be honest and be straightforward in your approach. When you want it to go somewhere, you cannot just hang around and hope for them to develop the same feelings for you.
It means that you will have to pull back at some stage and see what happens. You have to execute this classic move with authority to be able to determine the future of your relationship. Tell what you feel and ask about what they think. There is no point in hanging out with someone if you want a serious relationship, and all that they are looking for is a causal romantic fling.
Send an ultimatum and make them think about your suggestion. Stop hanging out for some time and see what changes. It may feel painful in the beginning, but it tells you if they feel the same way and do not take you for granted. And that is the most important step to take to turn your hookup into a relationship.
