And here’s a surprise: when I sat down to imagine a serious health crisis, and the guidance I’d like to offer my daughter, it wasn’t depressing. In fact, it was nice! I used the process of writing my advance directive and living will as an opportunity to think about my values, my hopes of aging well, and what makes life worthwhile. It was like time to travel to the future and help my daughter through what will be one of the most difficult moments of her life.
It takes quiet reflection and a little time to complete these forms. As I wrote my instructions for making health decisions, I wanted to offer guidance for situations that I cannot now imagine. I figured the best way to do that was to include my thoughts on what I value in the life I’ve lived so far, and what I want my daughter to think about as she makes difficult quality-of-life decisions. It was an uplifting exercise that reminded me of my good fortune. This is an excerpt:
For me, life is wonderful with the ability to read, write and enjoy the world around me. If life after treatment leaves me indefinitely confined to bed or requires 24-hour care, that is not a life I want to live. Since you are making these decisions for me, I am sorry that you are in this position, but you have to know that I have lived a wonderful and happy life, with lots of love, joy and adventure!
So for today’s Well Challenge, I encourage you to take the opportunity to be prepared by creating an Advance Health Directive and gathering other documents to support your family in a time of crisis. I’ve laid out six easy steps and the links you need.
DAY 5
Create a crisis notebook
Choose a folder: Although you should create a digital copy of all your important documents, having a physical folder that your loved ones can grab quickly in a crisis is a good idea. I chose an attractive three ring binder that looks good on my shelf! It is visible to everyone, so it will be easy to find if someone needs it. You can also put backup copies in a fireproof safe, give a copy to a trusted friend or lawyer, and scan the copies into an online folder.
Use a list of steps to complete: The first pages of my folder come from this AARP worksheet, which is the best list of steps I have found to help identify everything a loved one may need in a crisis. Include space to write down medical, insurance, financial and end-of-life information and answer the most important question for your loved ones: “Where is it stored?” Many of the documents you need vary by state, and some require witnesses and possibly a notary. All of them require a reflection on how you want to be cared for during an illness or at the end of life.
Write your advance directives: Can find the forms for your state on the AARP website. Advance directives should designate someone to make medical decisions for you if you are unable to do so, and should offer specific guidance on your wishes in case you become seriously ill and need life support. If you do not complete these forms in advance, your immediate family will be in charge of your care in a crisis, even if they are not who you would have chosen. In addition to putting a copy in the folder at home, you can request that it be filed with your medical provider and attorney, if you have one.
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