How to keep the passion alive after becoming parents: Kim and Stanley’s story.

Since becoming parents to Brooklyn, Kim and Stanley really need to make more time for each other. “Well, since we’re parents, there’s less fireworks between us. I think all parents of young children can relate to that. We should do our best to visit each other during the day to drink a cup of coffee or give each other a kiss.”

The two think it is important to continue to do this actively. “You have to make time for that, because otherwise you will get into a rut and it will only be about the children and the passion will be hard to find.” Although Stanley is ‘not necessarily very complimentary’, he does show that he loves Kim. “He does show with body language that he thinks I’m hot. When I’m cooking, he sometimes stands behind me and puts his hands around me. It’s the little things that matter to him.”

In addition to the romantic part, Brooklyn has also changed other elements of their relationship with his arrival. For example, the two argue less ‘fiery’ than before. “If we threaten to get into a discussion in front of Brooklyn, we never go into it. We distance ourselves or agree to talk about it later.”

Kim does this consciously, because as a child she herself was surrounded by ‘quarreling parents’. “I know how palpable the tension is. I don’t wish that on my own child. If I get annoyed with Stanley, I certainly think he’s stupid sometimes, but despite my spicy character I still manage to make him another cup of coffee. For Brooklyn, we can put our egos aside. That’s because our love for each other and our family is greater than our pride.”

Despite the changes, Kim and Stanley still adore each other. This is how Kim still likes to marry him. “I’m still open to that, but I don’t value marriage as much. I find it much more special that we started this process (IVF, ed.) together. If you start IVF, both partners must sign a clause. If anything happens to me, Stanley can still claim the embryos and vice versa. When we signed for that, I thought: this is a signature for life.”

That’s why Kim started looking at marriage differently: “That’s more for the party or because it’s nice to have the same last name. If I had been proposed ten years ago, I would have shouted it from the rooftops. Now I’m screaming it will only be from the rooftops if we are ever allowed to receive a positive test.”

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