Losing a loved one is undoubtedly one of the most challenging experiences life can throw at us. And for many, the grieving process can manifest itself in several ways, from insomnia to loss of appetite to putting on weight. Unfortunately, society is not always kind to those who gain weight, and the pressure to look a certain way can be overwhelming, even during times of heartache. This is something our “Asking for a Friend” reader knows all too well. In this article, we’ll explore their story and tackle the question, “Will anyone ever want to date me again?”
The pain of a breakup can be overwhelming. It can be especially difficult when you still have feelings for your ex-partner. This is the situation that the person who wrote this article finds themselves in. They had been in a relationship for two years before their ex broke up with them. The breakup was not easy and they still love their ex-partner, even though they hurt them. The reason given for the breakup was that they were going in different directions in life. However, their ex also told them that they no longer found them attractive because they had put on a lot of weight. This has left the person feeling devastated and like their life has been turned upside down. They are struggling to come to terms with being single and feel like no one will want them if they are overweight.
Dr West provides some reassuring words in response to this person’s distress. They suggest that it is understandable to feel despair after experiencing such significant losses. The person’s emotional and physical health should be a priority and it is recommended to visit a GP for a check-up. Dr West also points out that grief is not something that can simply be ‘gotten over’. It is a process that is unique to each individual and it can be helpful to work with a therapist who specializes in grief to better understand how to cope with the associated emotions.
One of the specific challenges the person is facing is that they feel like their weight is a barrier to finding a new partner. Dr West emphasizes that the way the person views themselves is crucial in overcoming this obstacle. They suggest that instead of focusing solely on their weight, the person should take time to discover who they are beyond this physical condition. They should consider their interests, hobbies, personality, and other attributes that make them unique. Dr West also emphasizes the importance of self-compassion and treating oneself with kindness, rather than beating oneself up. Building a positive self-image can help boost self-esteem and make it easier to find new connections.
Finally, Dr West addresses the issue of fatphobia and how it can impact a person’s dating life. They note that while individuals have different preferences when it comes to physical appearance, shaming someone for being overweight is a form of prejudice that is harmful and unfair. The person should not let societal pressure or bias stop them from pursuing a relationship. While it is challenging to find a partner who is truly accepting, there are plenty of good people out there who value personality and other attributes over physical appearance.
In summary, this article addresses some of the complex emotional challenges that can arise after a difficult breakup. It highlights the importance of taking care of oneself both physically and mentally, seeking support from professionals and loved ones, and viewing oneself beyond external physical attributes. Dr West’s compassionate advice provides some guidance on how to navigate the journey toward healing and finding hope for the future.
In summary, it’s important to remember that your worth and lovability as a person is not tied to your physical appearance. You have the right to grieve and take care of yourself in the aftermath of a significant loss like the death of a loved one. While it may be difficult to believe right now, there are people out there who will appreciate and love you for who you are on the inside. Take your time to heal and take care of yourself, and trust that the right person will come along when the time is right. Remember, you are enough just as you are.
