Jakarta –
In 2019, Yoo Seung-gyu finally stepped out of his studio-type apartment for the first time in five years.
As a first step, the 30-year-old cleaned up his “cluttered apartment” with his brother.
Then he goes out to sea to fish, along with fellow self-isolators he met through a non-profit organization.
“It’s a strange feeling to be in the ocean, but at the same time it’s so refreshing after being locked away. It feels unreal, but I’m definitely there. I am,” said Yoo.
More and more young South Koreans are choosing to shut themselves in their rooms and withdraw completely from society for failing to live up to expectations.
These exiles became known as hikikomoria term first coined in Japan in the 1990s to describe the phenomenon of extreme social withdrawal among adolescents and young adults.
In South Korea, which is battling some of the world’s lowest fertility rates and declining productivity, this has become a serious concern.
The South Korean government has even offered monthly stipends to self-confined people who meet certain income thresholds to coax them out of their homes.
Those between the ages of nine and 24, coming from low-income families, can receive up to 650,000 won (worth Rp. 7.49 million) as a monthly living allowance.
They can also apply for subsidies for a range of services, including health, education, counselling, legal services, cultural activities, and even “improving appearance and treating scars”.
The incentive aims to “allow closed youths to recover their daily lives and reintegrate into society”, said South Korea’s Ministry of Gender Equality and Family.
They define self-isolating youth as “young people living in enclosed spaces for long periods of time, cut off from the outside world, and experiencing significant difficulties in leading a normal life”.
However, offering some money to solve this problem will not make it go away, say the teenagers who shut themselves in.
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Yoo now runs a company that provides support to self-isolating youth. The name of his company, Not Scary.
His condition now is much different from the days when he didn’t even come out of his room to go to the toilet.
However, his journey out of the solitude was full of ups and downs.
He first withdrew from the outside world when he was 19 years old. He showed up again, but for two years to serve in the military, and then went into seclusion again for another two years after that.
The condition of Yoo’s room two years ago, when he was in seclusion. (BBC)
Park Tae-hong, another former self-isolator, said that self-isolation can be “soothing” for some people.
“When you try new things, it’s exciting, but at the same time you have to endure fatigue and anxiety. When you’re just in your room, you don’t have to feel that way. But it’s not good in the long run, ” said the 34-year-old man.
About 340,000 people aged 19 to 39 in South Korea – or 3% of this age group – are considered lonely or isolated, according to the Korea Institute of Health and Social Affairs.
The research also shows an increasing proportion of single-member households in South Korea, which will make up one third of all family units by 2022.
At the same time, the number of people who die from “loneliness” is increasing.
However, money or lack thereof, is not the main reason that keeps young people alone.
“They come from diverse financial backgrounds,” said Park.
“I wonder why the government links self-disclosure with financial status. Not all young people who are self-isolating have financial difficulties.”
“Individuals who really need money may be forced to adapt to society. There are many different cases,” he added.
Both he and Yoo, for example, were supported financially by their parents when they were alone.
Common among young loners is the belief that they have not met society’s or their family’s standards of success.
Some youths feel uncomfortable in their surroundings because they do not follow conventional career paths, while others may be criticized for poor grades.
Yoo claims he entered university because his father wanted him to, but he quit after one month.
“Schooling makes me feel ashamed. Why can’t I have the freedom to choose [jurusan kuliah saya]? I feel so miserable,” he said.
He also never felt able to talk to his parents about this.
“Korea’s ‘shame’ culture makes it more difficult for shut-ins to talk about their problems,” said Yoo.
“At that time, I concluded that my life was wrong, and began to isolate myself.”
During his seclusion, he didn’t even want to go to the restroom because he didn’t want to see his family.
For Park, self-isolation was brought about by social pressure, exacerbated by strained relations with his family.
“My father and mother often fought since I was young. This also affected my life at school. Schools in Korea are sometimes very hard, and I find it difficult. I can’t take care of myself,” said Park.
He started therapy in 2018, when he was 28 years old. Now, gradually, he is rebuilding his social life.
Young people in South Korea feel “oppressed” because society expects people to be what it is expected of them at a certain age, said Kim Soo Jin, a senior manager at Seed:s, which also specializes in programs for hikikomori.
“When they can’t meet those expectations, they think ‘I failed’, ‘I’m too late for this’. This kind of social atmosphere suppresses their self-esteem and can eventually alienate them from society,” he adds.
Seed:s has a physical space dubbed the “mole tunnel”, where self-contained individuals can rest, have some quiet time, and receive counseling.
The programs are open to everyone, regardless of their income level.
An environment, in which young people can find a greater variety of jobs and educational opportunities, would be more welcoming to introverted individuals, said Kim.
“Young people who are introverted want a workplace where they can think ‘Ah, I can do a lot of things, it’s not that difficult. I think I can learn more here and then enter the real world’,” she says.
Park also hopes that one day Korean society will be more accepting of young people with out-of-the-ordinary interests.
“Right now we’re just forcing them to learn. It’s too uniform. We need to give young people the freedom to find things they like and are good at,” he said.
Living allowances may be a “first step” in tackling the problem, but young workers say the money could be put to better use.
They believe that funding organizations and programs that target closed youth, by offering counseling or job training, will have a wider impact.
“The next step is to set up a free, high-quality national program for introverted youth,” said Kim Hye Won, chief director of PIE for Youth, an organization that offers various programs for introverted youth and their caregivers.
“Right now, the number of programs and centers where closed youth can participate and feel a sense of belonging is very limited.”
Even so, he is happy because the South Korean government is trying to overcome this problem in adolescents.
“Glad to see that [langkah-langkah baru] focuses on teenagers. In my opinion, adolescence is a golden time to prevent exile because most of the youth are part of a community, such as a school. After that, it became very difficult to find these people.”
Yoo said he came out of isolation gradually. He decided to come out after meeting former self-isolators through a now-defunct rehabilitation group called K2 International.
“After I got help from other people, I started to realize that this is not just my own problem, but also society’s problem,” he said.
“And finally I can get out of seclusion slowly.”
(it/it)
2023-06-05 05:13:34
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