Alexander (37) does not see the seriousness of corona. He calls the RIVM figures manipulated. “I don’t know exactly what is behind it, but that something is wrong is clear to me.” According to Alexander, the virus is nothing more than a standard flu. As a healthy person he has nothing to fear from the virus, he believes. That he is nevertheless confronted with ‘nonsensical rules’ bothers him. Mouth caps? He thinks it’s not necessary for anything. “They do nothing for the wearer, and whether they possibly protect others is also the question.” (Much is still unclear about the effectiveness of a non-medical face mask. According to the RIVM is the scientific literature about this ‘ambiguous’, ed.)
On the train, where masks are mandatory, he meekly refuses to follow the rules. “I don’t want to restrict myself too much. In the beginning I ‘wore’ a mouth mask in the sense of: keeping it above the ground. When they went on the train to fuck me that I had to wear it over my nose and mouth, I said: no, we call it a hood, so I only wear it over my mouth. They are so difficult. Now I have one full of holes, so at least I can breathe normally and get fresh air. “
Outsider
Alexander’s beliefs are not well received by all of his relatives. “I’m the odd one out in the family, some avoid contact with me. I hardly speak to my father anymore, he sees me as a conspiracy thinker. When he reads something I shared on Facebook, he says: do you believe that kind of nonsense? I generally do not engage in a discussion, he is so stuck in his thinking pattern. Agree to disagree in that case. Yes he could say the same about me, that I am stuck in my thinking pattern, but I do research. I have certain sources that show very different things from what we are told. “
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He is no longer welcome at all with his aunt, who lives in hard-hit Spain. “My aunt was a big supporter of the strict lockdown there, she is frightened by what is being brought out. I, conspiracy thinker, let me call myself that, look a bit further than just what is being told and how. we should respond to it I have always asked questions and I will certainly continue to do so My aunt is constantly defending the mass hysteria So no we can’t get through one door at the moment But I think my father and aunt will eventually realize that it was all a bit exaggerated what happened. I expect that and I hope so. “
‘I worry’
Where Alexander prefers not to follow the measures at all, Melissa (23) is one of the most careful in her family. “I stay inside as much as possible, almost only leave the house for groceries. People no longer keep their distance. The crowds have made me paranoid. With every itch in my throat and with every sneeze, I think: it won’t be, is it?” This makes her an exception in her family. “My parents don’t really believe in the virus. I find that worrying. They say they follow the rules, but I doubt that. I can’t control it, they live a long way from me and I don’t see them often. My little brother has to go under the knife soon and is vulnerable then, I worry about that What if they catch the virus and they infect him? If I try to say something, I will be told not to go crazy have it made by the mainstream media. “You have to do your own research,” they say. My stepfather in particular expresses himself fiercely. “
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It is the same in her in-laws. “One of my sisters-in-law continues her life as if corona does not exist, while the other two are extremely careful: one works with vulnerable people in care, the other has severe asthma and is terrified that she gets sick. there is my father-in-law, who had an operation in January for cancer, but hardly keeps his distance in public, while my mother-in-law is overly concerned. It leads to tensions. Fortunately, it has not yet resulted in a big fight, but if it still it can’t take long anymore. “
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This is best done in case of an (imminent) conflict
Bernadette Keijzer has been busy these days as a conflict coach and owner of Hello Mediator. Because people are close to each other, many high-profile conflicts arise in the home sphere, she notices. How do you prevent a discussion about whether or not to comply with corona measures from getting out of hand? “Talk about it with each other in an adult way and take each other’s standards and values into account,” she says.
“Set your boundaries, listen to each other’s point of view and try to put yourself in the position of the other. Try to put your own emotion aside at such a moment, do not just think about yourself and listen to the other without judgment. Be open to another. opinion and also dare to hold up a mirror to yourself.Also very important in such a conversation: let the other speak up and only respond afterwards.Peak from the I-form, in requests instead of in blame. meeting. If you cannot reach an agreement, then call in a mediator. “
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