Zucchini, parsley, onions, and a cocktail in hand: everything is ready to prepare the traditional Sunday meal that Brandon and Mari have been sharing for almost a year. But 6,000 kilometers separate these lovers, who find themselves only by interposed tablets: him in New York, she in Oslo.
There will be no romantic Valentine’s Day for this American cook and Norwegian therapist, who met at a concert in New York City in November 2019 – just weeks before the pandemic.
Brandon Ballin, 45, and Mari Solberg, 41, had hoped to meet again this week, to make the necessary arrangements before getting married in Norway in April. But the arrival of new variants, which has prompted many countries to close their borders and tighten restrictions, has turned their plans upside down.
“We will not be able to get married in April as we had planned. We had to postpone the date, and we hope to be able to get married in June. So we keep our fingers crossed“, explains Mari.
“We don’t know when things are going to reopen, we don’t know what is allowed and we don’t know how long it will last, it’s very difficult“, she says.
Sunday reunion
Since the arrival of the coronavirus, prevented from traveling like many other binational couples, Brandon and Mari mainly meet around their virtual Sunday meal.
“Mari was due to come here on March 21, 2020, but his flight was canceled due to the pandemic“, says Brandon.”So she thought to herself: Why not cook together instead?”
A virtual weekly meeting was born, which allowed them to maintain the link.
In a year of pandemic, they only managed to see each other once in person, at the end of September-beginning of October. Several European countries then authorized partners of their nationals, such as France, Belgium, Norway, Denmark or the Netherlands.
After filling out a dossier proving their relationship, Brandon had been able to visit Mari in Oslo for two weeks, spent almost entirely in quarantine … and asked for his hand.
But on January 23, the Norwegian government announced the total closure of borders, with the exception of “essential” visits. Romantic relationships are unfortunately not one of them.
No question of Mari coming to New York either: the United States – whose borders are closed to Europeans – have never made an exception for the unmarried partners of American nationals.
“With the pandemic worsening and more contagious variants spreading, now is not the time to lift restrictions on international travel, “declared the spokeswoman for the White House at the end of January.
So what to do? Brandon and Mari find some support on a Facebook page devoted to “Couples separated by travel bans”.
At the origin of the hashtag #LoveIsNotTourism (“Love is not tourism”), the page has more than 16,000 subscribers.
And via social media, many couples are calling on leaders around the world in the hope of raising awareness of their cause.
“We are ready to do anything to ensure our safety, to quarantine ourselves, to observe the rules. We try everything, and we take obstacle after obstacle, obstacle after obstacle“Brandon laments from his living room in Brooklyn.
Obstacles that bi-national couples try to overcome by looking for loopholes. On the Facebook page, we share tips and advice.
Many people have found themselves in third countries, such as Mexico or Turkey, who accept both Americans and Europeans on their territory.
For this Valentine’s Day, Brandon had planned to invite Mari to a restaurant in Oslo to “recreate” his marriage proposal.
“I wanted to have a valentine’s day“, he sighs. Instead, they will spend another Sunday in the kitchen, each on their own:”It will just be our normal life, doing what we used to do.”
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