The following question was sent to jakztohoven@firma.seznam.cz:
Question
I am 32 years old, I have a boyfriend and we have been on and off for approximately three years. He is a year younger than me, when we started dating everything was fine. But sometimes his ex gets involved in his life. The first time it happened was about a year after we dated. He claimed that he and his ex-partner had not made it up, that they had to sort it out, so we broke up. I was sorry, but I understand, it happens. After three months, he showed up at my place, brought me flowers, apologized that it was a mistake, that it was definitely over with her and that he wanted me back. So we got back together. But after another year and a few months, the situation repeated itself, this time the reason was not “the ex”, but “I’m not sure”. I know they were dating at the time, but he presented it to me as “he doesn’t know what he wants”. So he moved out again, of course I was sorry because I had the feeling that it had been resolved a long time ago. And now it’s coming again. He sends me gifts, says I’m the only woman he wants to be with. And I’m afraid I’ll be disappointed again. Do you think I should give him another chance? Thank you, Lucie (32).
Answer
I say in advance that it is probably not in my power to advise you. I don’t know how you feel about your partner. What do you expect from the partnership? You are 32, so you want to start a family with him? Or is it important for you to have a nice travel partner? I have no clue. You have to answer all these questions and certainly many more. It would probably be a good idea to take some time and look really deep inside yourself in the following period, and think about what you want for yourself and if it should be with this man.
What with this? It would be nice to write, send him to the arrow, Lucie. He’s over thirty and doesn’t know what he wants. Is this the best solution for you? The topic with your partner touches heavily on the topic of trust. Trust is an important ingredient in any relationship. If he left several times, it’s really annoying and the question is whether you still have any trust in him.
He left you twice – why do you still want to trust him? If you feel like it. It is easy to set desired partnership goals in your partner. But will this person really bring you joy, security, fulfillment? I believe you will figure it out.
