Three children grow up in the family of Lāsma and Nurken Takanbekov. Eldest daughter Melissa is 16, about to graduate from ninth grade.
The readers of “Druva” might be familiar with Melissa’s name, more than once it has been written about the girl’s outstanding achievements by participating in piano competitions. Even now, in addition to studies, there is a load of competitions and concerts at home and abroad. Emil is ten years old, he trains in Riga, in football club “Metta”, sings in the vocal ensemble “Vizbulēni”. Five-year-old Ernest also wants to be like his brother, so he says that when he grows up, he will be a footballer and a singer. For now, he only sings at home, but he trains in football at the “Priekuļi” football club and diligently learns various exercises that football players must learn, inviting his brother to do them with him.
Developing talent from an early age
Lāsma is a student, comes from a large family, Nurkens was born in Kyrgyzstan, in a family of four children, while his parents grew up in a family of nine children. A big family is the pride of Kyrgyz people.
The beginning of the family was during studies. Lāsma and Nurkens met when they studied at Vidzeme University. Soon, a daughter applied. For the first year, all three lived in dormitories, then two years in America, and again in Latvia. At first, Cesis lived in a one-room apartment, but now he has his own house. But the growth of children can take its toll. Emil’s training in Riga will be more and more frequent, so he may have to live closer to Riga for a while and abroad for a while, so that it will be easier for the children to develop their talents.
Children should develop some of their skills from a young age, this is the belief of the Takanbekov family. Already living in America, when Melissa was four years old, her parents decided to send her to a private teacher to learn the piano. It was a random choice. They themselves have no connection with music, only that Lāsma’s mother is a music teacher.
When the family returned to Latvia, in Cēsis, the girl started dancing in the collective “Reveranss”. However, over time I had to decide – to stay with piano playing or dancing, I couldn’t combine both. Melissa chose to continue her path in music. Lāsma says that her daughter’s interest in music developed gradually, but now you can really see how much she likes it – even when she cleans the house, classical music plays in the background. Melissa follows the achievements of modern pianists, reads a lot about world-renowned piano virtuosos.
On the other hand, the father knew that his son would play football even before the boy was born. Nurken says with a smile: “When we found out that we would have a son, I knew what I would do with my son. Of course, if he didn’t like football, he wouldn’t force it. But the son admits that his happiest days are those when we go to training in Riga. While training is exciting, it is also intense, challenging and exhausting.”
Learn from the best
Lāsma appreciates the teacher’s involvement in her daughter’s growth: “When we returned to Cēsis, we knew that we wanted Melissa to study with Ilze Mazkalne, she is really great. The teacher works with students in addition, finds contests in which prizes can be won. Ilze Mazkalne really wants the student to develop.”
One of the best football clubs in Latvia was selected so that the son would have more opportunities to improve himself in football. In the beginning, training was once a week, now three times, on weekends there are games and tournaments. The father takes his son to Riga himself, Emil can sleep on the way, on the way back they both speak English to strengthen their knowledge of a foreign language.
“It is very important for me to be present at every training session, to see every movement, every touch of the ball,” says Nurken, who closely follows his son’s growth. “After the lesson, we analyze among ourselves, we look at what needs to be worked on, the training continues at home. In order to be able to help better, I learned to be a coach, then I realized how important the psychological and emotional side is as well. Fathers usually want to see the result quickly, but they have to be patient, this also teaches the child patience. Discipline is the main thing – there are bad days and there are good days, but you have to train for three or four hours every day, and you have to do everything, even the boring ones. I also work a lot with Emil, we not only train, but also meditate, talk about psychological aspects.”
Children’s lives are very active, not always mom or dad can go with them to a concert or competition. “There are three children, we are two. If the events are at the same time, we split up, but it has happened that we also have to take a girlfriend to help, because we can’t be in three places at the same time,” says Lāsma, but Nurken admits that there are days when we hardly see each other. You can’t relax lazily on holidays either, that’s when there are usually competitions or contests. Competitions are not only for sons, but also for Melissa, because she plays badminton in the sports club “Saulrīti” and participates in competitions on weekends.
Evaluate opportunities in Cēsis and Latvia
Parents greatly appreciate that everything in Cēsis is easily accessible and walkable. Nurken praises the quality of the city’s stadium, which is also always available. In Riga, training time must be reserved, paid for, and not always the desired time will be available. Nurkens also appreciates that Latvia has a very high level of music education, as well as the development of football. “Quality matters, and so does cost. In America, it is not uncommon for parents to take out loans so that their children can develop their talents. In Latvia, clubs are for a nominal fee, and at a good level. We see what opportunities the state provides, it also supports families with many children with tax discounts, the municipality provides free lunches at school, there are companies that give large families a discount on fuel. We have lived abroad, we know that not everywhere has such support,” says Nurken.
Nothing is served on a tray
But when it comes to the biggest daily challenges, Lásma admits that for her it is cooking. The family is so active, always on the move, you have to think not only about lunch for the children after school, but also what to bring to Nurken and Emil, so that they have something to eat after training: “In addition, my son is going to become a professional athlete, so we especially think about a healthy menu , which is important for athletes.”
Nurken admits that he would also like to spend more time with Melissa and Ernest, but even in today’s fast-paced everyday life, he finds time to play board games in the evenings, to spend a little time together: “When free moments coincide and we can be together, we are happy. We like to go for walks, in the summer we ride bikes to Līgatne or Valmiera.”
Lāsma says that earlier family trips were Melissa’s competitions: “If my daughter had a competition in Italy, we all went to support her. While the boys were still small, we traveled together to several countries and cities. It was a great time. We can’t do that now, because the sons have their own things and training, which must not be interrupted. Now only I ride with Melissa, Nurken stays with the boys. And vice versa: when Emil has a tournament abroad, Nurken goes along, the rest of us stay. Therefore, now family trips should be planned in time, taking into account when everyone is free.”
However, children are also taught that nothing in life is taken for granted, served on a tray. Melissa and Emil know how parents got from a small one-room apartment to a house, they understand how much it costs and that everything has to be earned.
Parents have subordinated paid work to the needs of children. Lāsma is a zumba trainer, she plans her schedule by adapting to the schedule of children’s school and interest classes. Nurken’s main job is at night, he sells air tickets, which can be done from anywhere if there is an internet connection. Precisely thanks to the flexible working hours, he can take Emil to training and be with him in competitions.
Combining the values of different cultures
Nurken’s homeland is the Asian country of Kyrgyzstan, but the parents of a large family do not feel cultural differences. Lāsma says: “In the first years, they were like that, but not anymore. In my opinion, Nurkens has become very Latvian. Only religion is different for us. Nurken is a Muslim, there are restrictions that he strictly follows. For example, don’t eat pork. In Islam, it is also not accepted that girls wear something very revealing, for example a short skirt, that’s why we also think about it.”
On the other hand, the close relationship with children has been acquired directly in the Latvian culture, emphasizes Nurkens: “For example, Kyrgyz families do not spend much time with children, the little ones grow up on their own, parents are busy with daily work, earning money, so there is no such shared rest with the family. Latvians do not chase after money and wealth.
At first, I thought that people in Latvia are a bit lazier because, for example, on holidays they think about how to relax, not about work. When I was a child, school was also on Saturdays, but Sundays were house cleaning days. People can never stop with us. I couldn’t sit still in Latvia at first either, I always wanted to do something. Walking in Kyrgyzstan is a waste of time. When my mother came to visit, she scolded me for walking calmly with the child.”
It was more difficult for Nurken to integrate into the local society, everyday culture, until he learned the Latvian language: “But everyone was still friendly. It’s not like they’re surprised when they see me because of my looks or my nationality. On the other hand, I can no longer accept much of what is traditional in Kyrgyzstan, because the outlook on life and everyday life has changed.” The only thing he misses is the sun. “I wish there were more of them in Latvia. However, there are no natural disasters here. I’m from a country where earthquakes happen all the time. Everyday there is peace here, you can enjoy life, today.”
Create a sense of community
For parents, it is not only important for children’s achievements, but also to build and strengthen mutual relations in the family. Even when everyone is in their own lives, brothers and sisters should have close ties, help each other if needed, be together on holidays and everyday. And Lāsma adds: “I hope that when we are grandparents, we will still be useful to the children, we will all want to be together.”
Nurkens fully considers the creation of children’s future opportunities as his duty: “The time will come when everyone will have grown up, left home, then we will have accomplished our greatest mission. Helping children develop, being active in their lives is the most beautiful thing that can happen. When you do it for children, when you help them find what they like in life, the satisfaction is enormous. I believe that they can be professional in football and music, help others by example and with their work. Seeing children grow is an indescribable emotion. And then what we have given them, they will pass on to their children. I have also learned a lot from my mother.”
