Guus (63) from Mill is disappointed that sperm donors have been in the news so negatively lately. Doctor Jan Karbaat fathered at least 65 children and last month it became known that gynecologist Henk Nagel of the former Carolus Hospital (later JBZ) in Den Bosch has fathered children with his own sperm. Guus has twenty donor children.
In Nagel’s case, it probably concerns ‘only’ three donor children. Yet Guus thinks it’s ‘really wrong’ what Nagel has done: “That man abuses his profession. Children conceived from this can grow up with the idea: I was not meant to be at all. Very annoying.”
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Fred Gundlach helps children find their biological parents at the Fiom in Den Bosch. He also finds the situation with Nagel very annoying, both for the donor children and the legitimate children of Nagel: “People react very strongly. They talk about perverts and perverts. That is also good for the children. Because if someone says something negative about your parents, it feels like a personal attack.”
Guus was a sperm donor from 1993 to 1995: “I had two healthy children and this has always been a wish of mine. My then wife just didn’t want to hear about it. After our divorce, the wish came back. I wanted to do something for fellow human beings, to donate something. But organ donation went too far for me. In this way they can still use my properties.”
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Today it is illegal to donate seed anonymously. That was not the case when Guus became a donor. Yet he very consciously chose that his donor children should be allowed to know from the age of sixteen that he is their biological father. He also told his own children that he was a sperm donor: “That didn’t change anything.”
After 1995 it was silent for sixteen years. And then suddenly there was a letter and the meeting followed: “Very exciting”, Guus looks back. He continues with gleeful eyes: “It was a feast of recognition. The child wanted to know: ‘I have brown eyes, do you? I’m very sporty, what about you?’ I mentioned that I was a physical education teacher. So she could suddenly post a lot of things of herself.”
Later Guus got in touch with two other donor children. They also got in touch with Guus’ own children. But still: three of the twenty donor children have come forward. A low score? “I can’t judge whether that’s a lot or a little. It’s up to them, I can’t say anything about that.”
Fred Gundlach of Fiom understands: “The vast majority of donor children do not know that they were conceived through a donor. This is also because in the past doctors sometimes forced parents to keep their mouths shut with a contract. We believe that parents still adhere strictly to this. Furthermore, the taboo is still very large, especially for the father. The donor often sees this as a threat.”
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Yet. When the story of, among others, Nagel came out, more than eighty donor children and fifteen donors reported to Fiom in a short period of time. “It makes parents think and talk to the children. Because if the kids don’t find out until the parents are dead, it’s too late. If they find the donor forms, or they do a DNA test online and then suddenly find out that they are a donor child, they can no longer ask their parents questions. They come to us angry, frustrated and in total confusion.”
Guus meets with his donor children every year. They will then all do something sporty: swimming, mini golf, water skiing. The meetings always take place in a very pleasant atmosphere, Guus emphasizes: “It has always been harmonious, with everyone. My donor children were grateful because I hadn’t done it for myself. All positive, I am very happy about that.”
Guus only wants to be called by his first name for privacy reasons.
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