BVIEvery week, Geert Hoste (63) gives his own unique and ironic view of the world in ‘Dag Allemaal’.
Intense, bro! Never too old to learn a new word. Thus, together with the rain in West Flanders, the word ‘impacted’ seeped into our media. I first heard the word from the mouth of the reserve governor, Mrs. Anne Martens. Shortly afterwards, the mayor of Diksmuide used it. The latter managed to say ‘impacted, evacuated and escalated’ in one sentence. It looked like the Great Dictation. My ears gasped for breath. You’ll just be mayor and give an interview while you’re drooling, live on the television news. With a municipal secretary who stands out of the picture with the municipal umbrella and the municipal rubber boots, better known as caoutchouc bones. And the pumps, they pumped on.
On the swampy fields of West and East Flanders, as a youth player I chased the football through large and deep puddles towards the goal. They were the trenches of my football career. Every Wednesday and Saturday afternoon, we crossed through mud in very heavy shoes with worn-off plastic studs. Through the wind through the rain. Complaining was not allowed, and if we walked off the field with an open fracture, we were given a suppository. It was supposed to make young boys tough enough to become football players later. And now that it’s later, coiffed football players are strolling in a Dior skirt with a Louis Vuitton sacoche. They stand on the catwalk in fashion magazines with shiny boots and don’t want to take shots because it is drizzling. In addition, the Heysel turf has been impacted.
It can change. Football players star in television quizzes and talk shows. Singers perform in the Sportpaleis and pop groups perform in football stadiums. The Rock Werchter meadow will be asphalted and the De Schorre nature reserve will be concreted for Tomorrowland. In the meantime we have to remove tiles to soften. ‘The rain is tapping softly on the attic window’ has been changed to ‘Pittering rain impacts the solar panels’.
But ‘every disadvantage has its own advantage’. Thanks to the flooded meadows, nitrogen emissions have suddenly dropped dramatically. This means that full work can now be done on a large plastic factory in the port of Antwerp. In other words, after much struggling and fussing, a nitrogen agreement has been reached. I wonder how the hard-working politicians will impact us with their big bones in the coming weeks. Should there still be sand?
LOOK. Geert Hoste roasts Dany Verstraeten: “You call that work?”
READ ALSO:
COLUMN. Geert Hoste about ‘Forgotten God’: “You had to be a tough guy to keep it dry and not burst into tears”
COLUMN. Geert Hoste about Erik Van Looy’s metamorphosis: “His friends called him ‘le misérable’ for years”
COLUMN. Geert Hoste about drunken politicians: “Since when do we take their word for it?”
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2023-11-26 12:00:02
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