egEvery week, Geert Hoste (63) gives his own unique and ironic view of the world in ‘Dag Allemaal’.
Life is not simple. Tell me something. Earlier this year I read that you could only show your true self as a transvestite. On high heels, with a glittery dress and covered in a thick layer of make-up. Just call it filler. If the construction workers covered the facades with transvestite makeup, every house would have an A+++ EPC. And don’t even get me started on the towering wig. Completely myself. I thought it couldn’t get any crazier, but then I read that I was completely wrong.
To be completely yourself, said a woman with a mask and a dog collar around her neck, you had to go to a swingers club on Halloween. To be clear: a swingers club has nothing to do with jazz music and pumpkins. In a swingers club you come to terms with your true self, while everyone has to deal with everyone else. But stylish. Because the word ‘stylish’ should always be used in that context. Stylish like in red plush, red light, handcuffs, cava and a jacuzzi. That is because otherwise people would confuse it with a Catholic boarding school.
Golf carts
Life is not simple. To be yourself you always need extras and quite a few extras. Take Lesley-Ann Poppe’s ambassador, Lesley-Ann Poppe herself. I mention her because I was shocked by a headline in my newspaper. It said: Lesley-Ann Poppe will not get a permit for her golf carts. Rarely do you see such ambiguous imagery, I thought. Until I had to confirm that they were indeed real golf carts! She wants pink golf carts for her committees in Delhaize. To be completely yourself, you have to drive a golf cart, dressed as a transvestite between the racks of Colruyt. You have to watch out for wrong-way drivers with a flat cart. Otherwise you will turn into ‘Aldi, what is the Knaldi today?’
Life is not simple. Sinterklaas has yet to arrive and the Christmas cards are already lying around the house. It’s always really exciting when putting away the Halloween stuff. You never know when another body will fall out of the closet. Admittedly, there was no shortage of horror this year. The most chilling news is that ‘The Prince of the White Horse’ Michel Van den Brande is getting married. After sex object Erik Van Looy and swan sausage Bockie De Repper, another Flemish sex symbol that is off the streets. All that remains is Niels Destadsbader and then the banana is over.
LOOK. Geert Hoste roasts Dany Verstraeten: “You call that work?”
COLUMN. Geert Hoste about Erik Van Looy’s metamorphosis: “His friends called him ‘le misérable’ for years”
COLUMN. Geert Hoste: “The moment to replace traffic signs with the church tower with a neutral sign. There is no need to frighten people unnecessarily”
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2023-11-12 12:00:38
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