From 44 to 0 seats: how twenty CDA years flew by like wet guinea pigs disguised as God’s word in an elder
Dear editors,
The challenge of the Saturday homework assignment I’d love to go on this dull Saturday afternoon. In the appendix the piece, all terms are incorporated in it and printed in bold.
Yours sincerely,
[NAW bij redactie bekend:]
Our Minister of Foreign Affairs Wopke Hoekstra, who would like to be seen as a serious person on the world stage intellectual, was visiting the carnival in Boxmeer. As a kind of King Henry VIII, he is in the picture between all excited women with a dead guinea pig on their head. Whether, like King Henry, he will marry six of the women and eventually have two beheaded is still a mystery. In any case, it will attest to decisiveness and visionsomething the CDA has embraced as an election slogan.
Judging by Wopke’s satisfied face, the atmosphere is still very good at that moment. Perhaps Hugo de Jonge will be summoned to sing along with ‘a floral curtain‘, totally in style with his shoes. Surely the ever-optimistic man doesn’t mind whipping up the audience with lyrics like “now put those hands in the air‘. And the 10% that don’t want to participate, they just leave outside. Maybe afterwards he can buy some floats to house starters and status holders. The CDA wants people anyway guarantees for the future offer.
The problem with the CDA is that their loyal supporters are no longer offered any guarantees. Wopke Hoekstra cackles a lot, but never says anything. That’s what are passionate leadership features. The CDA is invisible and meaningless, stuck in the great spider web of Rutte and Kaag. They were once the largest party that supplied the prime minister for years, but that is no longer the case. Under the guise of ‘taking responsibility’, they remain the mainstay of a cabinet that, after years of breakdown and dozens of scandals, still holds sway.
Why, you wonder. Would God have wanted it that way? At least not the CDA supporters, they have switched en masse to the BBB of the potential Prime Minister Van der Plas. If that trend continues, the CDA is left with 1 to 2 seats, maybe 3, max. After which Wopke will retire with the lame excuse to spend more time with his family. Then he can then fill his pockets at one or the other multinational.
But maybe it’s not too late for Wopke, because at parties people are often cheerful and too drunk to think clearly, so there are probably still some CDA votes to be won there. He could make a whole campaign tour out of that. Next stop will be Bennekom, the Jerusalem of the Veluwe (not to be confused with ‘Haaksbergen, the pearl of the East). Because yes, Vlegdag is really carnival. Maybe there are also some women with a guinea pig on their head who have the intelligence and the charisma of the great CDA leader. Then it can also be a successful campaign tour. Heideweek, here we come.
