The supermodel and “social freezing” to regain independence. “I believe in the power of sharing: my negative experiences can become a weapon for other women.” The testimony at TEDx in Perugia: “Every time I almost died”
The bravest thing he did was freeze his eggs. Or, as she says, “freeing my dream of motherhood from the moods of a relationship”. It has been difficult. On the contrary: “A terrible experience. The hormones, the injections, the mood swings, the quarrels and the end of the relationship all coincided within a few weeks, a year ago ». And it had a price: “Tens of thousands of dollars.” But it was the price of his freedom: “Feeling that I have wasted three of my last fertile years alongside this man, the independence I needed was reproductive independence“. Because in the end, “if a woman doesn’t need a man to have a child, then she just doesn’t need him for anything else.”
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Confession in the newsletter
Bianca Balti told herself sincerely in her newsletter (sign up here). One more step to leave behind a toxic love with a man who called himself “wealthy, sporty, with an education.” Polite enough to repeat to her: “Men just want you to fuck, they don’t want to have a family with one who has two daughters from two different fathers.” While he, well, “I’ll never have a problem finding a woman.” Bianca’s naivety was believing that she might have reasonAnd. That “she” really didn’t deserve anyone’s love. “I thought I was deeply wrong, perhaps even sick. I went to therapy with the aim of getting fixed. I wanted to heal to finally become the woman who would make him happy, which he would have liked as the mother of his children ». Yet the signs that there was something wrong with that relationship, she had begun to feel them. Like the time he confessed, “I even told my mother I want to have a baby with you.” To her mother, before her. She who was a mere accessory, obviously, of a project conditioned by the mood of the moment. One day: “You are the best mother she has ever known.” The other: “If you behave like this, I won’t have a child with you.”
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Birthday and the power of sharing
When we hear her on the phone from Los Angeleswhere he will celebrate on Saturday 38 years and the first birthday of the new house, chosen close to her friends and to the public school attended by her second child Mia, we immediately ask her where she found the courage to talk about herself without filters. Her voice comes clear: «I have had many painful and negative experiences. If they stay there, negative experiences remain. But when I share them, they become a weapon for other women, for those I like to call my “sisters” ». The unshakeable confidence in the power of sharing is the same one that pushed her, last September, to reveal in a TEDx (in Perugia) every time she is “almost dead”: at 14, when she was first harassed, after a boy made her drink a whole bottle of limoncello; a few years later, at a party, when the boy she liked about her took her hand, led her into a room and raped her; both times she lost the babies she was carrying; when the eldest daughter Matilde decided to go and live with her father; the failure of her two marriages; every time she has sunk her pain into her substance.
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The testimony for the others
“The theme was the rising Phoenix,” he goes on over the phone. «I agreed to do it because I strongly believe in the power of sharing. The universe sends you things when you are ready. The Ted Talk, the newsletter, are all ways to communicate that we are not alone: if we feel alone, we hide in our shame. It helped me to share to go from “I can’t forgive myself for making all these mistakes” to “they happened to make something useful” ». Cryopreserving the oocytes was a symbolic gesture: the claim of its independenceto. But he adds: “I still believe I can meet a man with whom to share a child’s project. I am optimistic. Above all, I had my revelation: I don’t “need” a partner. Now I feel free to enter into a healthy relationship with a man who will enrich what I already have. And I already have everything: a house, two daughters, a job, friends. My life is beautiful ».
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March 17, 2022 (change March 17, 2022 | 07:20)
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