Fredrik Græsvik – Became depressed during the corona

– I have traveled so much that I have not had time to build any network around me. But suddenly I needed it under the corona. Missing someone drove me into a depression.

Fredrik Græsvik (54) sighs over the screen from his white apartment in the American capital, Washington DC. The high-profile foreign journalist is perhaps best known for the reports from heated conflict zones, often directly from the bullet rain, in the Middle East or Afghanistan. Since 2017, however, he has been stationed in the United States. He has previously said he has forsaken own family life to maintain his lifestyle as a correspondent, but during the pandemic, the 54-year-old has really felt a longing for friends and family.

– I live in a bubble where everything is about me and my job. I have put everything else on pause, and have completely forgotten to live my own life, he says.

Going home

In the new year, therefore, the profiled correspondent packs his bags for the last time in a long time, and intends to place them well inside the cupboard in his house in Bergen. The upheavals in American politics have also made him ready to put an end to it.

– The storming of Congress on January 6 was a turning point. Maybe that incident also contributed to the depression. Witnessing a democracy in disrepair is demanding, he says.

After Joe Biden took over as president, however, the political situation has calmed down, while coronary restrictions have become stricter.

– February to May were cruel. Everything here was closed and I was left alone in an apartment that is also my office. When it did not overflow with requests from TV 2 about cases from here, it became difficult to be here, says Græsvik.

Girlfriend

A third factor has also contributed to the correspondent now wanting to go home. Fredrik Græsvik who has told that he has lived without a girlfriend for decades, got into a relationship just before the pandemic. But all the corona restrictions made it difficult for him to meet his new, Norwegian girlfriend.

– I have shadowed the path for potential girlfriends for 20 years, and have felt it has threatened my position at work. I have seen how it affects others when I travel at a moment’s notice, and have not wanted to expose anyone to it. But I’ve had a boyfriend lately and known how nice it can be. I want more of it in life, he says without wanting to reveal who the chosen one is.

The two have not seen each other for a long time due to the pandemic. The 54-year-old therefore does not know if they will find each other again, but he wants to go home anyway.

– I think it’s a time for everything, and I’m done with the travel business. I’m so tired of hotels, suitcases and bags, and not living anything like a normal life. I have finally started to think that I should confront my own life, instead of chasing everything that is out there.

Dramatic in Kabul

One last dramatic event, however, was important for him to pursue before leaving as a foreign correspondent. Græsvik wanted to go to Afghanistan in the days before Joe Biden had ordered a withdrawal of the American forces from there. Græsvik arrived in the war-torn country just before the Taliban took control of Kabul on 15 August this year.

– I was actually going to go there the following week. It was quite a bit of luck that I managed to reach it, he says.

The “empty” plane: – Betrayal from Norway

But luck and luck. He lived in the only place where the bullets rained, and was present in the upsetting days when people gave their children to soldiers in the hope of giving them a better future – and when people were so desperate to get out of the country that more people clung himself to relief aircraft, but fell dead about in the attempt.

– It characterizes one to experience that. But from a purely journalistic point of view, we met really well. Perhaps the safest thing would be not to leave, and there was a bit of panic at home due to the security situation. But I felt very quickly that the Taliban were behaving well towards foreign journalists. So I would like to stay a little longer, says Græsvik now.

New book

In recent months, he has written down the stories from the dramatic days of August, including them, and updated his previous book on Norway and NATO’s warfare in Afghanistan. Book “The Lost War” has become a story about the 20-year war, but also about his own experiences as a war journalist in the area.

– For me, the book is a summary of the totally unsuccessful warfare in Afghanistan, where from the very beginning a clear goal was lacking. It is also a personal story since I covered the war from September 11, 2001 until the day Kabul fell, he says.

Græsvik’s daughter has previously told how worried she was about her father during the dramatic days of August, her father is also honest about the ambivalent feelings he may have about his own job.

– Desperate

– On the one hand, you feel that you are in the right place when something important happens. At the same time, you feel that you may not be there, because things can go wrong for your own part, says Græsvik and points out the terrorist attack on the then Foreign Minister Jonas Gahr Støre and his delegation at the Serena hotel in Kabul in 2008 – an attack that led to Dagblad journalist Carsten Thomassen was killed.

– In a way, it was good to be there when Støre’s delegation was subjected to a terrorist attack. At the same time, it is not good to be present during an attack. We lost a good colleague.

Been shot

Græsvik is, however, amazed at how calm and clear-minded he can be in such life-threatening situations.

– Going to work and thinking that “I can be killed” is not common. But you have to confront the idea that it can go very wrong, and then think about how you can minimize the dangers, he says.

– I have been shot so many times, so life does not pass in revue every time, I did not manage. In such situations, one must have full focus on the situation, and find a solution immediately.

Arouses attention: – Hysterical exaggeration

He has gone to a psychologist to process several experiences, but still carries some of the heaviest with him. Now he does not want more similar experiences.

– I’ve always been powered by adrenaline kick and gets the kick out of mastering tasks under tough conditions. But I’ve felt the same adrenaline rush throughout Trump’s presidency, when extreme messages came all the time, and everything culminated in the storming of Congress. I do not need more war now, he says.

Personals

The last time has at times been too calm for the correspondent as all pubs, restaurants and gyms in the USA have been closed. He has acquired a rowing machine that has the role of Kevin Spacey in “House of Cards”, but has otherwise had little to do.

The plan now is to celebrate Christmas alone over there, but then Græsvik looks forward to leaving the white, American apartment that has never quite felt like a home. However, he does not know what to expect from life in his home country.

– I have a job in TV 2, but actually do not know what I am going to do in the new year, he admits.

Warning lights that lit up

– I have lived this nomadic life, and am the archetype of a war journalist: One who sits alone and never manages to settle down. But this lifestyle does not make me happy, so it’s time to do something new, he says thoughtfully.

– I would like to find someone to share life with, but I do not know if I can do it now either.

If he does not find his way back to his former girlfriend, he still hopes to find someone to share life with.

– We’ll see, if it does not become us, this will be the contact ad of all time! The last time I talked about single life in the press, I received so many inquiries from ladies who were ready to give me the care they thought I needed. Now I’m finally ready for it. I think life will be very nice when I get home.

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