In 2020, a year that will stay with me due to the global COVID-19 pandemic, my life took an unexpected turn. While the outside world seemed to collapse under the weight of the virus, my own inner world sank into the darkness of loneliness and sadness. I had just given birth to my daughter, fulfilling the biggest dream of my life. However, this moment of happiness was shrouded in a dark cloud of sadness and confusion. I felt alone, exhausted and helpless, desperate for help.
The days had become an unbearable burden. In the evening, I didn’t close my eyes. I stood there looking at my daughter and crying. Insomnia overwhelmed me. Even when sleep came, every morning, I woke up with a weight in my chest, a deep sadness that invaded me. The pandemic had broken social connections, isolating me further. The laughter and smiles that should have accompanied the birth of my daughter seemed distant.
Night time was the most critical time. As I put my daughter to bed, while the world seemed to be enveloped in darkness, I found myself alone with my tears. I spent hours silently crying, overwhelmed by a whirlwind of emotions that were complex to understand. Anxiety, sadness, and loneliness overwhelmed me, making each night a moment of intimate, silent pain. Each night’s cry was a momentary release of the pain I felt inside. But in the morning, the sadness was still there, heavier than ever.
I was struggling to connect with my daughter, to be the mother I wanted to be. Moments of joy and complicity seemed inaccessible. I felt guilty for not being good enough, for not being the loving mother I had imagined. I’ve even thought about leaving, thinking that my husband and daughter would be better off without me. Then a conversation with my sister-in-law, who is also my best friend, was a turning point.
She recommended that I seek help, advice that stuck with me, although my own skepticism held me back. Sitting alone in the corner, I pulled out my phone and resolved to search online for mental health support. I opened my favorite social media app and simply typed “psychological help” into the search bar. The results began to scroll across my screen, featuring various mental health professionals. It was the day I felt particularly vulnerable and distraught, desperately seeking help to overcome my loneliness and sadness.
That’s when I noticed the profile of Assa Djelou, psychotherapist. Assa’s posts seemed thoughtful and caring, and her approach seemed to align with what I was looking for. I started browsing the content Assa shared, which covered topics related to mental health, motherhood, and self-acceptance. Assa’s words and messages on social media resonated deeply with me. I found comfort in the testimonies and encouragement Assa shared.
This encouraged me to contact her for help. I sent him a direct message expressing my need for assistance and support. Assa Djelou responded promptly and warmly, providing a listening ear and a safe space to discuss my concerns. It was the start of an unusual move toward mental wellness, highlighting the growing importance of the availability of online mental health services and compassionate professionals ready to help those in need.
After our exchange, I determined to walk through the door of the psychotherapist’s office. It was a step towards the unknown, a step that I took without much conviction, but with a vague hope. The first consultation was a crucial moment in my journey towards better management of my mental health. The therapist welcomed me warmly, creating a safe space where I felt free to express myself without fear of judgment. I began to tell my story, reveal my inner struggles, and share the depths of my loneliness and sadness. The psychotherapist listened attentively, without interrupting, and validated my emotions.
She put words to my pain, supporting me to identify the confusing feelings that were overwhelming me. This natural act of validation was a first step towards understanding and better taking care of my mental health. Over the course of the sessions, I began to realize that I was not alone in my fight. The therapist showed me that the difficulties I was experiencing were common for young mothers and that this did not make me an unworthy mother. Together, we explored the causes of my symptoms, identified triggers, and developed strategies to cope with my emotions.
Through these psychotherapy sessions, I became aware of what had happened to me. The therapist diagnosed me with postpartum depression. It is a little-known disease, even taboo, because, for example in Africa, there is a belief that only Europeans are affected. As a result, young African mothers often find themselves isolated in their struggle, not venturing to share their pain, although this disease affects 10 to 15% of mothers. Thanks to the sessions with the psychotherapist, I acquired a valuable skill: that of legitimizing my emotions and becoming more forgiving towards myself.
The therapist’s open discussions and guidance allowed me to realize that what I was feeling was neither abnormal nor shameful, but rather a natural reaction to postpartum depression. It had a liberating effect on me, breaking down the barriers of silence and shame that usually surround this condition. Through these sessions, I also saw that my suffering was not unique, but shared by many other mothers. It helped me feel less alone in my struggle.
I became aware that postpartum depression is an illness that can affect any woman, regardless of race, origin or culture, thus contradicting the limiting beliefs that may exist in certain communities. Learning to legitimize my emotions and be kind to myself was a turning point in my life. I gradually learned to accept and manage my emotions, which helped me regain emotional balance and engage in a healing process.
My psychotherapy sessions guided me on a journey toward wellness, allowing me to recognize that it is plausible to overcome postpartum depression with the right support and understanding. Understanding my depression and the tools provided by the therapist allowed me to reconnect with myself and take better care of my daughter, despite the difficulties linked to my role as a mother. My story is a powerful reminder of the importance of
It’s a step
