Forced migrations, the story of the migratory experience from the voices of mothers who don’t leave

ROMA – If there is a narrative that is missing around the phenomenon of forced migration, it is that of the families, loved ones and contexts from which migrants separate. As if those who arrive in Europe after increasingly hellish journeys do not have an emotional background, feelings, cultures, and do not experience painful separations from those they love. When we collect the stories of those who, often very young, leave everything and venture from Africa, the Middle East or Asia towards our closed borders, we often come across stories in which, among the thousand sufferings of the journey, emerge often family members, more frequently mothers.

The thoughts and torments of the migratory experience. Melancholy, profound loneliness, the feeling of emptiness without the protective presence of the mother, the fear of disappointing her, of worrying her, often emerge as a determining part of their migratory experience. From contact with them, once the thousand problems have been scraped away, the many physical and intimate scars put aside for a moment, the other part of the phenomenon rises to the surface, that ‘journey’ that those who stay at home take together with their children, full of terrible anguish, worries, frustrations, fears.

The collection of testimonies. To narrate all this, he was born ‘Mums’the project of the writer in collaboration with the editorial staff of Average incomewhich aims to tell the story of the migration phenomenon starting from the voices of the mothers who remain. It is a work of collecting testimonies from ‘mothers’ from different African countries who tell the experience of ‘migration’ lived together with their children despite staying still.

From the pre-trip to the months and months of silence. The pre-trip phase, very often communicated at the last minute or hidden so as not to generate anxiety, the period of the trip during which mothers can remain without news for weeks or months until they are convinced that their child is dead (the communications are very complex, sometimes the mobile phone is confiscated by traffickers, credit in transit countries may not be sufficient, during periods of imprisonment or difficulty, the children prefer not to hear from their family…), the first ‘phone call’, the anxieties about the integration and success of the migratory project, the organization of life without a child, the wait for remittances.

How the project is structured. The project involves three trips to as many African countries where the voices of various mothers of children previously contacted and interviewed in Italy will be heard. The result, in addition to the writing of articles based on the mothers’ stories in connection with those of their children, will be a series of short films – one for each country – which will then form a documentary. The first stage took place in Gambia in mid-September.

That little boy who left when he was 15 years old. «One evening I noticed that my son had not yet returned – says Adama, mother of Abdou, who left at just 15 years old, now living in Sicily and employed as a mechanic – and I asked the brothers if they knew anything but no one knew anything. Hours and then days passed, my son didn’t return and I started to get very worried. Then I received a call from a friend: “Abdou – he told me – has left and is traveling to Libya”. I dropped my phone, I thought I was going to die.” Abdou had left without saying anything to his mother, at night, without anyone being able to notice. «If I had talked about my project – explains Abdou – I would have seen the pain in my mother’s eyes and I would never have left». And so Adama remains for weeks, months without receiving news. His life remains suspended between prayer to Allah and waiting for a phone call. Non dorme, non mangia, vive la condizione di donna disperata, separata dal figlio amato che non ha neanche salutato, mentre si fa spazio l’idea che sia già morto.

Another story, that of Lamin. Even Lamin, at a certain point in his existence, decided to leave. He is 20 years old and is obsessed with how his mother, who has some health problems and has been widowed, has to work tirelessly to support the family and he wants to do something for her. «He faced the journey, the difficulties, the fears, to help me – says Aminata, 53 years old and with six children, as she shows the small plot of land in front of the house that she cultivates for a living – and now she regularly sends us money with which we get by. But if I had known, I would never have let him leave.” He still experiences the months without hearing from him with terror. «We saw the news with all those boys dying at sea and I thought “I wonder if my Lamin is also among them”. In this profound interweaving between awareness of the risks of travel but also of the pain caused to mothers, and love for one’s mothers, lies the whole story of an indissoluble relationship, of a touching relationship.

Project funding. The project ‘Mums’ it is financed by a series of reception communities for minors that belong to the National Coordination of Communities for Minors (Cncm). «The Coordination, through the contribution of some members and some non-affiliated entities, wanted to contribute to the financing of “Mums” considering it a project of fundamental importance for our educational interventions in favor of unaccompanied foreign minors.

An investigation into emotions. The investigation into the emotions felt by the mothers of the children who left with the hope of a better future allows us to understand the value of the emotional bonds from which they come and measure their impact in the construction of a future life plan. Queste tematiche, purtroppo spesso sottovalutate nei grandi centri di accoglienza emergenziale, sono in realtà il punto di partenza dell’intervento educativo stesso e speriamo che il progetto possa sensibilizzare gli operatori del settore ad una maggiore attenzione alla sfera affettiva di questi ragazzi».

A voice of denunciation on how the migration phenomenon is governed. ‘Mums’ è un grido che sale dalle mamme, dai papà, dai fratelli, dalle famiglie che vivono sospesi per un tempo infinito e fanno i conti con la possibilità di non rivedere più il proprio figlio e allo stesso tempo è una voce di denuncia di un sistema di management of migration from the global South based on the theory of invasions denied by any verification and closure policies that have much more to do with racism than with a serious and credible government of the phenomenon, respectful of law and security.