Whether First Lady, writer or painter: There have been many queer couples in history, but they could only be barely visible. Here are a few examples that show the courage of these people.
#1 Virginia Woolf and Vita Sackville-West
Writer Virginia Woolf and writer and garden designer Vita Sackville-West were a couple. It all started at a dinner party in the 1920s. There they got into conversation about literature and became friends, which later developed into a relationship. Although both were still married to their husbands at the time, they accepted and respected their wives’ relationship.
The two stayed together for ten years. Vita Sackville-West, with her tumultuous family history, also provided the inspiration for Woolf’s novel Orlando: A Biography. The novel is about the young English nobleman Orlando, who falls asleep for several days and wakes up as a woman. Virginia Vita’s affair ended in the late 1920s, and they remained close friends.
#2 Anne Lister and Ann Walker
Anne Lister is often regarded as the first modern lesbian woman to live her identity confidently and without shame. The landowner from Halifax presented herself as far more masculine than other women of her time in the 1800s. She also made no secret of the fact that she wanted to spend her life with another woman. This became Ann Walker, her neighbor. In 1834 there was even a ceremony for both of them at Holy Trinity Church in York, England. This is considered the first lesbian church wedding in history. A commemorative plaque for this event is attached to the church today.
Lister and Walker traveled the world together extensively. Her honeymoon took her to France and Switzerland. The two then worked together on Anne Lister’s estate until she died in 1840. Surprisingly, 100 years later, diaries of both were found that revealed their love story. Just a few years ago, both were recognized in popular culture: HBO turned the relationship into the series “Gentleman Jack”.
#3 Michelangelo and Tommaso de’ Cavalieri
The Italian sculptor, painter and architect Michelangelo Buonarroti is considered one of the greatest artists of the Renaissance. Among other things, the “Last Judgment” and the ceiling painting in the Sistine Chapel in the Vatican are well known. When his time in Rome began in 1532, he met the nobleman Tommaso de’ Cavalieri. Michelangelo was 57 at the time and Cavalieri 17.
The ancient concept of platonic love was experiencing a renaissance in artistic circles at the time, and so did Michelangelo. At first there was a teacher-student relationship between the two. Then Michelangelo wrote effusive letters to Tommaso. Although Cavalieri married a woman and had children, he and Michelangelo remain close.
In Tommaso Michelangelo saw the ideal of male beauty, he described him as the “light of our century”. Cavalieri became the object of Michelangelo’s passions, he became his muse. The two remained closely linked until the death of Michelangelo in 1564, when he died at the then unusually old age of 88. Cavalieri was by his side at this point.
#4 Tennessee Williams und Frank Merlo
Playwright Tennessee Williams met his future assistant and partner, Frank Merlo, a New Jersey blue-collar worker of Italian descent, in a bar in 1948. Their relationship lasted 15 years. In his memoirs, Williams described the moment he first saw Merlo. “He was standing there, smoking, leaning against a pillar, he was wearing Levi’s jeans, and I kept looking at him and looking at him. My constant and intense scrutiny must have burned itself into his torso, because after a while he turned and smiled in my direction.”
I’ve gotten used to you now.
Williams and Merlo lived together in Manhattan. These years are considered to be the writer’s most productive and happiest years. But over time, Williams’ drug and alcohol addiction caused tension in their relationship. Nonetheless, Williams stayed by Merlo’s side when he was diagnosed with lung cancer in 1962. The following year Merlo died. Whose last words to his lover were: “I’ve gotten used to you by now.” Williams took that as a declaration of love.
#5 Jean Cocteau and Jean Marais
The French writer Jean Cocteau met Jean Marais when Cocteau was 48 and Marais was 24. Marais had often seen paintings by Cocteau that reminded him of himself. After first dates, a relationship developed. Both remained in love with each other for years. They also worked together artistically and created joint film projects, among other things. Marais played roles in Cocteau’s well-known projects Once Upon a Time and Orpheus. Ultimately, Marais became Cocteau’s artistic muse.
Both remained in the city during the Nazi occupation of Paris. They continued to live out their identities openly, even if this put them in danger of being persecuted by the German occupying forces. They were repeatedly vilified in the Nazi-controlled press. Marais outlived Cocteau by 35 years. The writer died of a heart attack in 1963. Marais later said that Jean Cocteau was the love of his life.
#6 Eleanor Roosevelt and Lorena Hickok
Eleanor Roosevelt was the First Lady of the USA from 1933-1945 alongside her husband Franklin D. Roosevelt. Eleanor met reporter Lorena Hickok at one of her husband’s campaign events in 1932. Hickok, the best-known journalist of her time, had previously been able to convince her boss that President Roosevelt’s wife needed her own reporter to cover her.
Their love affair lasted for several years. Hickok helped Eleanor Roosevelt appear more confident. Both also worked together in Eleanor’s campaigns for democracy and human rights. In addition, both of them made trips through the USA together. They drove all alone, without White House security officers, and slept outdoors.
There has always been speculation about what the relationship between the two women actually looked like. In the 1970s, around 3,000 letters from the two were discovered, written like typical love letters. The two wrote to each other for over 30 years, sometimes even twice a day. The close relationship between the two only ended with Eleanor Roosevelt’s death in 1962. Lorena Hickok survived her by six years.
#7 Lili Elbe and Gerda Gottlieb
Lili Elbe was a Danish painter. The trans woman was one of the first people to have sex reassignment surgery in the 1930s. Gerda Gottlieb was also a painter and illustrator. Both met for the first time at the Danish Royal Academy of Fine Arts in Copenhagen. In 1904 both married as Einar and Gerda. After the wedding they traveled through Italy and France and settled in Paris in 1912.
At that time Lili Elbe started to change her appearance. She wore women’s clothing and changed her name. However, because Danish law did not allow marriages between two women, their marriage, which had been valid until then, was annulled by King Christian X in October 1930. Lili Elbe died a year later as a result of her gender reassignment surgery. The film “The Danish Girl” tells her story. Eddie Redmayne plays the title role, which he later regretted (TEW reported).
#8 Therese Giehse and Erika Mann
“They were as opposite as one can be, and that often seems to be the basis of great love relationships and friendships,” writes their biographer Gunna Wendt about Erika Mann and Therese Giehse. In 1927 the two met in Munich. Ten years later, in early 1937, their relationship broke up again while both were in the United States.
Erika Mann, the first child of Thomas and Katia Mann, loved theater and literature, was on stage herself and wrote texts. She also loved fast cars and was also able to fix her car. Therese Giehse was born in Munich in 1898 as the youngest of five children. She wanted to be an actress since she was a child.
Erika and Therese founded the cabaret ‘Die Pfeffermühle’ with others. They wanted to use it to fight the Nazis. But it only existed for a few months. In March 1933 both fled to Switzerland. In Zurich they tried again with their cabaret. Ultimately, they decided to go to America and try a new start there.
However, things became increasingly difficult for the two of them. Therese could hardly make friends with American culture, especially the language remained foreign to her. Erika, on the other hand, saw many opportunities for herself in the USA. It was not until 1952, when she returned to Germany, that the two became close again and remained good friends.
#9 Benjamin Britten and Peter Pears
British composer Benjamin Britten wrote many of his works for his partner, tenor Peter Pears. These included the seaman’s story ‘Peter Grimes’, the sailor saga ‘Billy Budd’, as well as his Thomas Mann setting ‘Death in Venice’. The composer and singer had been a couple since 1939 and remained so until Britten’s death in 1976.
In post-war Britain, they went public with their relationship at a time when homosexuality was a criminal offense. Their relationship was considered an open secret that no one talked about. So both of them were able to go about their work. Britton was commissioned to compose and wrote pieces of music with homoerotic lyrics in Italian. Pears was able to work as a singer. Even the royal family invited both of them several times.
As in the days of Britten and Pears: Marriage is still not for everyone in the Church of England
When Britten died in 1976, his partner Pears received a message of condolence from the Queen. Previously, Britton and Pears had also been knighted for their special services to British art. When Peter Pears died in 1986, 10 years after his partner, he was buried next to him in Aldeburgh Cemetery.
#10 Magnus Hirschfeld, Karl Giese and Li Shiu Tong – love for three
The founder of German sexology, Magnus Hirschfeld, met his first partner, Kurt Giese, in the early 1920s. Both entered into a love affair and work together in Hirschfeld’s institute for sexology. Giese took over management of the archive. Hirschfeld described the relationship between the two as a ‘physical and spiritual connection’. At the beginning of the 1930s, Hirschfeld went on a world tour. When he didn’t come back, Giese followed him. He found out that Hirschfeld had fallen in love with 23-year-old student Li Shiu Tong.
All three then went into exile in France and lived a ‹ménage à trois› there. Although Giese was exiled from France a year before Hirschfeld’s death, he was able to return there briefly for his funeral in 1935. Two months earlier, Hirschfeld had appointed both lovers as his sole heirs. However, these should not use their heritage for personal purposes, but make it available for sexology.
