On the Sanremo stage, live on TV, in front of 12 million and 256 thousand Italians, you made out with someone full of piercings and lipstick who calls himself Rosa Chemical.
This Rosa Chemical, pseudonym of Manuel Franco Rocati, is a — let’s say — fluid rapper. Very chic, he provided details: “I put my tongue in… and he was there”.
It is still not clear whether the amazement of your wife, Chiara Ferragni, on Saturday night, under the satisfied gaze of Amadeus – “What have you done?” – was sincere. We know that you are unscrupulous, formidable in your attention to detail, capable of setting any scene. And in any case, something unforeseen is unlikely to happen at the Festival.
The point is an other.
It’s that this 73rd edition was supposed to be his. And instead, now it’s official: you took it on yourself.
Fedez, I think you have a problem. Inside the house.
First outing
Chiara, Leone and Vittoria’s mother – okay, sure: you’ll soon show us on Instagram how you immediately started playing happily again all together in the living room among teddy bears and storybooks: but this time we’re not falling for it, eh – Chiara has arrived in Sanremo, for her glittering and long-awaited first television release, bringing with her twenty-eight and a half million followers, 27 tattoos, 35 years old and a simply crazy story as an entrepreneur: she started calling herself Diavoletta87 on Flickr – paleozoic of the web – and ended up being studied at Harvard Business School. With Mattel deciding to produce a doll in her image – “Well, it’s a dream come true: I’ve always felt like a Barbie” -, with Forbes which defines her as «the most authoritative fashion influencer on the planet» and Amazon Prime which dedicates a docu-series to her, with three owned companies and an economic empire estimated at around 50 million euros (according to reliable estimates, for each sponsored post earns $82,000).
Blond, frankly beautiful in a family of beautiful women (the mother Marina and the sisters Valentina and Francesca), remarkably sexy (check online the photos of when she poses in underwear), we all waited to see her act live, without any parachute, on the most feared stage in Italy, to ascertain whether the belief that he basically can’t do anything, but that he does that nothing with great skill, was somehow wrong.
The dress and the monologue
Now, remaining on the chronicles of her two evenings in Sanremo: on Tuesday she was understandably excited. The voice, a certain embarrassment in the movements, I follow Morandi or Ama, which camera is framing me? But there it is. Immediately, during the introductions of the singers, in a long black dress, a white shawl with the inscription: “Think free”. Then, for the monologue, a long skin-colored tight with her body drawn on it. Here, the monologue: “I wrote it myself.” A letter to the little Chiara, that is to herself. With feminism blows that the left liked a lot (about where it is, about what the left is in this country, maybe, we’ll talk about it in another article). But the sentences were like: «Being a woman is not a limit. Tell all your friends and fight together to change things, I’m trying right now.”
Could something like this leave its mark?
With a little intellectual honesty: even on Saturday Chiara could have dared more, and surprised us, and rocked.
The bad boy
Instead you thought of everything, Fedez.
You did it all by yourself.
Bad boy.
They had written that, after all, for Chiara you are a bit like the third child. Naive, spontaneous, a Gongolo from Buccinasco. How perfidious. They don’t understand who you really are. What a ferocious cunning you are gifted with.
To begin with: you fooled the Rai executives in a big way by getting you invited despite the brothel you had unleashed on them at the concert on May 1st 2021, when you denounced their attempt to censor your speech, in which you accused the centre-right, and the Lega in particular, of be hostile to the issue of civil rights.
When you appeared in connection on Wednesday evening from the Costa Smeralda ship, moored in front of Sanremo, thinking that you would have made it big was automatic. And in fact: during your freestyle performance, in addition to hammering with tough phrases, you also snatched the now famous photo of the Deputy Minister of Infrastructure Galeazzo Bignami, the type of Fratelli d’Italia who goes to stag parties dressed as an SS officer.
You made them jump on the chair. You forced Stefano Coletta, the manager of Prime Time, to dissociate himself with words of ice. CEO Carlo Fuortes had a Caravaggio-like desperation on his face. You were already in many editorials and on the verge of a parliamentary question. And you could have been satisfied. Instead, on Friday, in a duet with Article 31, you addressed the premier directly. And you yelled at her: «Giorgia, legalize her!». Polenta?
The kiss
You got carried away, you started – again – in politics. Those of the Democratic Party, after thinking that Amadeus could be the true leader of the opposition, all a little emboldened, dictated statements in your support: «Fedez must be free to express himself…».
And also to kiss.
You had prepared the make-out with Rosa Chemical, you can tell us (among other things, shoot a video in which you talk about it during an episode of your podcast «Muschio Selvaggio»). Because the truth is that you wanted to win big: but not in Sanremo, inside the house. With your wife. Which is a global brand, a media, a channel, a living news. You wanted to show her that you’re there too. What if you want, if you decide: well, well, right?
You succeeded. But now, don’t be stupid. Make it up to you. And give her a kiss too.
