Fatigue, loneliness, criticism. All this means that you are too strict with yourself – Proženy.cz

Some people call it perfectionism, and of course it is harmful in an exaggerated way. But you don’t have to be a strict stickler or someone who constantly strives for perfection, you can be strict with yourself even more subtly. If you constantly beat yourself up about something and rarely praise yourself, you are making your life miserable without even knowing it. You are destroying your self-esteem and the most important relationship in life – to yourself! These signals clearly indicate that you are really too strict with yourself and it would be worth relaxing.

You criticize yourself when you look in the mirror, when you exercise, after a job interview or an important meeting, just about all the time. You may not even realize it, but try to focus on it. How many times a day do you curse yourself: “Why do I eat so much when I’m fat; I can’t even finish the soup; that presentation was worthless because I’m incompetent.” How many times a day does your inner voice tell you that you’re stupid, ugly, skinny…?

Make a dash for it every time it happens – you’ll probably be surprised. “What the head thinks, the body lives. Do you really want to live that version of yourself exactly as you talk to yourself? If not, start learning to speak more kindly to yourself. A healthy relationship with yourself is the key to life satisfaction,” says life coach Lucie Mucalová.

Criticism (within reason) is one thing, but you need to be able to balance it with the ability to praise and appreciate yourself. But many people simply cannot do it. And when someone asks them (perhaps at a job interview) what their strengths are, in the worst case they remain silent, stutter something vague, or say them, but they don’t feel good about it at all. “Bragging and supporting oneself internally is still not common in Czech society. We are led to look for faults in ourselves and to constantly improve, but this leads us to permanent dissatisfaction,” confirms life coach Lenka Procházka.

But knowing your strengths and being proud of yourself in various ways (not conceited) is not a shame, but the basis of healthy self-confidence and self-love. Why be ashamed of the fact that nature has given you beautiful eyes and you just know it? Why not say out loud that you’ve mastered so-and-so at a really advanced level? “If you don’t know your advantages and strengths, you can feel like a zero compared to others, but that’s not the case at all, everyone can do something and excel at something,” explains Lucie Mucalová.

You don’t believe in your worth, you constantly question yourself, and this leads to putting too much weight on your shoulders in an effort to “better yourself”. You work too hard, you exercise too often, you clean the house slowly twice a day to be really good housewives.

But what is the result? You are exhausted because your body also has some physical limits and simply needs to rest. And you are also mentally tired, because the mind also needs relaxation and not the constant stress of having to chase something.

You need to learn to set boundaries, because work and rest should be in symbiosis and harmony with each other. To live a happy life, you need both, i.e. time for self-development, improvement, learning and work, but also time just for yourself.

If you’re too hard on yourself, how can you possibly be in a good mood? Much more often, your anger prevails. “If you regularly exhaust yourself like this, it’s clear that the body and mind can no longer conjure up something positive and a smile on your face. It’s actually a prison in which you lock yourself up,” warns Lucie Mucalová.

In the case of perfectionists, love, family, friendship and collegial relationships get a lot of work. “These people tend to expect from others what they cannot give themselves. They are controlled by the desire for others to fill the empty spaces in them, this determines their value,” says Lucie Mucalová. But if you don’t like yourself and are constantly dissatisfied with yourself and your performance, how can anyone like you?