Father sensed that everything was not right – It saved Minna – 2024-04-06 12:07:29

Living in southern Finland Go (name changed) had to experience real relationship hell.

At first the relationship flourished, but then it turned into violent subjugation and control. The torture that went on for several years left Minna with deep mental scars and many injuries related to body motor skills.

– My husband inflicted several blows on my head, some of which he did with a knife. After the magnetic resonance imaging requested by the police, it was recorded in my papers that due to the numerous blows to my head, there is a high risk that the next blow will be fatal.

– I am happy that I have made it to this day alive. At the same time, I want to be an example that you can let go of violence and get on with life. Life is indeed worth living despite physical and mental disabilities.

Minna met her husband almost ten years ago. The man was clearly older than Minna. Everything seemed fine and life was smiling at the woman under forty.

– He made a great impression on me with his behavior. I got a lot of attention, and everything went well for half a year.

– Gradually, control came along. If I came home from work a few minutes later than normal, the interrogation began. As time passed, the situation worsened. He called in the middle of the work day to check where I was and showed up at the workplace.

However, Minna was not too worried about the situation. He thought the jealousy would pass. The couple decided to get married, even though there had also been pushing and screaming in the relationship.

– Despite the events, I believed that everything would be fine.

When they went to the registry office to get married, the man surprised by digging a marriage contract out of his pocket and demanding Minna’s signature.

– The paper contained a text in which I was required to waive my claims to his property in the event of a possible separation. Since I was in a pretty good situation at the time, it didn’t hurt. However, I was amazed.

Violence breaks out

The couple’s wedding night turned out to be shocking.

– My husband had a tantrum. He tore my wedding dress with a knife, after which I got my turban in short. I was bloody and beaten.

– I went into complete shock, I couldn’t understand what happened. My husband did not regret his actions the next day either. He said the punishment was necessary because I didn’t know how to behave.

The next day, the couple went to pick up wedding items from the party venue where the man’s acquaintances were. Minna thought they were paying attention to her bruised face.

– Everyone turned their eyes away. After some time, we started talking about completely different things. It made me feel even worse. I was getting more and more locked up and didn’t know what to do.

Everyday life went on. Both of the couple went to work. At the same time, the situation continued to worsen.

– He controls everything I go and do more and more tightly. Violence also increased. He repeatedly abused me and told me that I was behaving badly.

Less than a year after the wedding, Minna’s mental health deteriorated, and she was forced to leave work.

– My fear and anxiety grew so bad that I was unable to work. I was mentally shattered. Things fell out of my hands because I couldn’t even hold them properly.

– When I went to the doctor, my husband insisted on going with me. The doctor asked me about the marks on my body. That’s when my husband aggressively told her to focus on the essentials and let people’s lives be. The doctor got confused and stopped asking.

Minna had to resort to the help of an ambulance for the first time more than a year after the wedding, when the man had dislocated her shoulder.

– My husband told the nursing staff with bright eyes that I had fallen on the stairs. He also whispered in my ear that he would kill me if I told the truth. I completely shut down and didn’t dare say anything.

– The shoulder could not be put in place without being taken to the hospital. I was asked about the origin of the injury, but I didn’t say anything.

Family hell

Minna’s life continued to be hellish. The man subjected her to various forms of violence, including with fists and a knife. She was also raped.

– During our time together, I received, for example, sixteen stab wounds. They were born in several different abuses. Some of them targeted my head and face. He said he wanted to destroy my face, that I would never be good enough for anyone.

The man also tried to directly kill Minna several times, and said so directly. The closest she came to death was when the knife had damaged Minna’s artery.

– I was covered in blood. Fortunately, I was able to escape outside and called my friend, through which I ended up in the hospital. My life was saved in the hospital. At the same time, a wound of about ten centimeters was found on my head.

The hospital asked about the causes of the injuries, but Minna did not say anything. Her father had also come to the hospital and told his suspicions about the abuse.

– However, the situation did not progress because I was unable to say anything.

The only time some kind of information went to the police was when a bystander reported possible domestic violence.

– The police called me. Of course, my husband was standing next to me. He snatched the phone from my hand and informed the police that there is no need to interfere in our affairs. The matter remained, which can be quite surprising in hindsight.

The family hell continued. From the last year together, Minna has a period of several months of not remembering.

– I was mentally and physically exhausted. However, I remembered how my husband informed my friends about me completely nonsense, which broke off the relationship. I kept in touch only with my family occasionally, although I didn’t dare to tell them about the abuse either.

Escape the relationship

The situation was triggered by Minna’s father, who suspected that something was seriously wrong. He appeared at the couple’s door, sure of his daughter’s abuse.

– My husband told him that everything is fine. However, my father saw the marks on me and understood what had happened. However, he could do no more at that moment. After he left, dad called me and said I could come home anytime.

Minna finally ran away from the relationship a couple of days after her father’s visit. The man had abused her again. Blood ran down his face.

– He stopped the abuse, and I got some time. I grabbed some of my stuff and ran out. At the same time, I called the taxi center and asked to come quickly.

Minna walked towards the taxi. Rescue came quickly. While in the taxi, the phone rang.

– My husband called in a fit of rage. I still remember his words: “Where the hell did you whore go?” I was completely shocked again. Finally, the taxi driver hung up the phone.

Minna initially moved in with her parents until her own apartment was arranged.

– At the same time, my husband continued to contact me on the phone, threatening and raging.

The crime victim emergency room became an important help, where Minna received counseling and a support person.

– It was really important, because I was in constant fear and lost my grip on everyday life. The support person was also a significant help when moving outside, because I didn’t dare to move alone. The fear of my husband was absolutely huge.

Minna started the divorce process and filed a criminal complaint against her husband.

– My husband was quickly sentenced to a restraining order, which was later renewed. Fortunately, I haven’t heard anything from him for a long time.

Minna was diagnosed with traumatic stress disorder. He has sought and received help from trauma therapy and psychophysical physiotherapy.

– They have been very helpful. I have gotten a grip on my fears and the situation has changed much better. At the same time, I have learned ways of working in relation to the traumas that still come up from time to time.

During their time together, the man spent about 100,000 euros from Minna’s property, and currently Minna still has a good 60,000 euros to pay for various debts from the period. However, there was also light in life.

– I met my current husband. Life is good with him. I am very happy for him. Otherwise, I’m still on rehabilitation support. Recovery progresses gradually.

– I’m also writing a book about my life with a view to therapy. One day it may be time to release it.