I have six brothers and sisters. My youngest brother, 50, has his name on the title deed to the family home, as do my two deceased brothers. Two sisters got married and withdrew their names from the act. One of our sisters was on the title, but she also passed away.
My brother says, “It doesn’t belong to me,” but when we ask him to add all the siblings to the title, or establish the trust or other legal document stating that the family home belongs to all the brothers and sisters, he simply ignores. us, and never acts accordingly.
The house has been paid off and is worth approximately $980,000. The property is located in California. He never paid the mortgage on the house because he was too young at the time. What should we do? Should we put pressure on him?
Does he have the right to keep the house?
Sister
“Despite very lax estate planning, I suspect your parents had their reasons.”
Illustration from the Market Observatory
Dear sister,
This is a unique, but perhaps not unusual, situation your family finds itself in. Did your parents leave their house to only some of their children? I don’t understand the logic of leaving some children out of their control, probably knowing that it could cause discord after they are gone. Despite very lax estate planning, I suppose they had their reasons.
You don’t say what the house was titled. If your siblings were “tenants in common,” they would each own an undivided share of the property, meaning that after your brothers died, they could leave their share to their spouse or children. There is no right of survivorship of the other party to the deed.
On the other hand, co-ownership with right of survivorship means that upon the death of your brothers and sisters, the other people whose names appear on the property deed would automatically have inherited their shares. In other words, the deceased siblings’ share would not be subject to probate. I assume from your letter that they owned the house as “tenants in common”.
Putting the legal aspect aside, we are left with the moral – or ethical – dilemma of what your youngest sibling could or should do with this property. He inherited this house from your parents and he owns property worth almost a million dollars. Does he have a moral obligation to add you to the deed to his home? (Because it’s “his” house.) I don’t think that’s the case.
Whether or not he paid the mortgage while his parents were alive, or even if others helped him, is irrelevant. He could of course make an effort to repay those who helped him, but it’s his house and he has no obligation to add anyone to the deed: brothers and sisters, spouse or elsewhere his next door neighbor. None of the people mentioned above have a right to the house.
You’re not the only sibling who feels like they’ve been left out of an inheritance. This woman wrote to me a few weeks ago to ask what was the most foolproof way to leave her estate to one of her siblings, while leaving her other siblings alone. As I told him, “Money can change the dynamic of a relationship.” Inheritances can reignite old family rivalries, or even create new ones.
He is not obligated to distribute the keys to the lock to his remaining siblings, nor to invite people over for dinner. Everyone has the right to feel secure in their home and, assuming that they have inherited shares of this property from their deceased brothers and sisters, they East his home. Instead of trying to convince him to do what toi I wish he would do, try to make peace with whatever situation led to this point. This, as difficult as it may be, could include a conversation with the person looking at you in the mirror.
Your brother seems like the type of person who avoids conflict. Hence his insistence that he does not own the house. I have no doubt that he knows whose name is on the deed, but he does not want to take responsibility for dealing with brothers and sisters who believe they have been wronged. He’s the proverbial pig in the middle. Pressuring him to give up a share of his house will only alienate him further and likely lead to him walking up the proverbial drawbridge.
Also from Quentin Fottrell:
My mother’s will leaves her house to her two children and two nieces, but she sold her house. Could these nieces come after us for the money?
I didn’t see how this could happen to my family – until now”: My brother took $200,000 from my mother’s savings. How can I stop it?
The day my father-in-law died of brain cancer, he changed his trust and left everything to my sister. Do I have recourse?
You can email The Moneyist with financial and ethics questions at qfottrell@CNET.com and follow Quentin Fottrell on X, the platform formerly known as Twitter. The Moneyist regrets not being able to answer the questions individually.
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2024-01-06 05:14:47
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