“Obviously, I had to go through some hoops to get to myself. Thank God that I had such an opportunity, and I don’t regret a single second of the rather difficult time I had since I left the theater,” says the charismatic and talented stage artist Đirts Liuziniks.
It was in 2020, shortly before the pandemic, when it became known to the wider public that one of the most employed actors of that time, Ęirts Liuziniks, had left the staff of the Latvian National Theatre. At that time, he told the media that he left on his own because he was tired. I wanted to rest, I didn’t want to take on new productions anymore. He had spent himself mentally and physically. He went freelance, joined the unemployed and played in more shows that were in the repertoire.
Three years have passed. What is Đirts Liuziniks doing now? Why did he leave the theater and how does he feel today? Addressed by »Vakaras Ziņu«, the actor willingly allowed himself to refresh his memory of the feelings of that time and revealed his plans for the near future.
It was a very strict decision
“It happened gradually. It was exhausting, overworked, and if I must be honest, my inner ego was unhappy. Looking back at Girta of that time, one might think that he had created imaginary problems for himself, and yet today I am aware that at that moment he should have stopped, taken a break – to find himself.”
The actor did not leave the theater burning all bridges, and he did not for a moment blame the theater for his dissatisfaction. No one asked him to leave, he himself began to feel worse and worse in the theater. And it was a very strict decision, it was not “feeling out”, studying what the reaction of those around would be, so the then director of the theater Jānis Vimba did not even try to dissuade him from such a step.
“I had enough work, there were many roles, there was also recognition, well – there were no awards, but what next? What do I want? Why do I do this? Are you chasing after fame, after awards? You have almost one and almost the other, but – does it give you satisfaction? I provoked myself, looking for answers, and my ego “sat on my shoulder” and I had nothing to answer, says the actor. He has twice been nominated for the “Night of Gamblers” award – 2010/2011. 2017 season as “Young Stage Artist of the Year” (for the role of Vronsky in the play “Anna Karenina”) and 2017/2018 in the 2018 season as “Actor of the Year” (for the role of Freddy in the play “Deep, sad sea” and the role of Jānis Bērziņš in the play “Even whales are afraid”).
“I didn’t want to be the one who whines and complains that everything is bad in the theater. I realized that I was lost myself, that I didn’t feel fulfilled in what I was doing, that I had nothing left to give creatively, and thank God that I had enough courage to leave and not disturb others. I am grateful to the cosmos, God or whatever it is called, who “organized” it and gave me the strength to do it.”
Went “to nowhere”
When leaving the theater, the actor went “to nowhere”. He continued to play in the plays that were in the repertoire, and, by the way, he is still playing in the play “Even whales are afraid”, staged in 2018 by director Elmārs Senkovs. Next performance: Tuesday, November 7. The others have already been removed from the repertoire.
Asked if he himself had the answer to what to do next, Đirts admits that at that moment he had “zero ideas”.
“Of course, the family and relatives were worried about possible financial problems, and of course it was a difficult time for them. But – what does finances give me, what does it give me that I’m in a situation, but unhappy?… No one will ever understand how you really feel, and no one should understand it either – we each have to sort out our inner world. I expected possible difficulties, but more important than finances was to try to find myself, and that’s what I went for. “Thank you” to covid that the world also calmed down a bit for that time and I was able to unravel my inner world in a slow spirit. I had more and more time to focus on myself, my feelings, understand what is real and what is made up. To understand whether I want to be an actor or whether I am interested in theater at all… During these more than two years of searching, while doing all kinds of other jobs, I had a wonderful opportunity to “be outside” and look at everything from the outside. I even managed to learn (at the Faculty of Civil Engineering of RTU), I tried and still do all kinds of work, both in construction – I have already renovated several apartments – and casual, and now I know that I can do it all. But the main thing I realized is that I love my profession! Where did I lose this link? Where did I get lost? Why did I fall apart? Because I went to something else, forgetting that my profession, my essence is to be an actor. The ego went ahead, the ego wanted to prove something to someone, wanted to receive even more recognition, to win awards. Obviously, I think it will be the great happiness. Only me, only for me, only the way I want! But if the ego leads the way, the road leads nowhere…”
If you need me, I’m here
Girts says that when he left the theater, he didn’t burn any bridges, he just took a break to calm down and find himself.
“I have never said that I am not or will not be an actor anymore. On the contrary – I once wrote to both Jānis Vimba (former director of the Latvian National Theater) and director Elmārs Senkov: “If you need me, I’m here.” I also had contact with the new theater director (Māri Vītola), and – yes, I am ready to return. Yes Yes! I love the National Theatre, but obviously I had to go through some hoops to get to myself. Thank God that I had such an opportunity, and I don’t regret a single second of the rather difficult time I had since I left the theater,” says the actor.
He is aware that this time was difficult for the family, from time to time it was also financially.
“I am often asked how I live, how do I survive? That’s how I live – one day better, one day on my wife’s shoulders, then better again. But I don’t sit and cry. I have family, I have friends who help in all kinds of ways. All kinds of moments in life can happen to everyone… And I had to get to that “plant”, which grew bigger and bigger, until at one point no “medicine” helped. It was necessary to “do an operation and cut it open”, and that’s what I did. Because it was important for me to get to what is most important. And today I can say that it is not some mystical goal, but a path! Yes, it is a path that we often lose while running towards the goal. Maybe it sounds like I’m speaking in standard phrases, but – I can speak like that because I’ve been through it.”
Get silence and peace within yourself
“By scraping off the old paint from the wall, you can come up with a lot of things. Of course, if you manage to use this time for yourself, and not to think about how much I don’t like to scratch off the paint… Everything is in us – everything depends on how we turn it,» the actor understood. He does not hide that initially it was a very big problem – to get silence and peace. Turn off the thoughts, forget yourself all and then try to find again. But he succeeded.
«And I believe that self-discovery is not only related to meditation, going for long walks or climbing mountains. All this is very “tricky”. You need to learn to find yourself in everyday life, once – by scratching the paint off the wall, the second time – by riding a bicycle, the third time – by climbing a mountain. But having found myself, I do not say that I have now become a saint. I also drink a glass of wine from time to time, smoke, and sometimes I catch myself feeling sick, but now I deal with it quickly, I don’t allow it to develop and multiply in me. Because I understand that the problem is not somewhere outside, but in me. And the ego, of course, is still sitting right here on the shoulder.”
Meet and talk with the audience
The actor says: when he was asked to replace a colleague in the musical roadshow for children “Shrek”, he gladly agreed to do it. “I absolutely enjoyed this adventure together with the little viewers. We all did one thing – we tried to please the children, and no one tried to stand out, be better, superior. And the response from the little viewers was simply fantastic! What prizes?! What accolades?! I had already forgotten that I love the theater, the audience, my colleagues…” Đirts admits.
He remembers that at one time there was a very cool team in the National Theater – a team created by Ojars Rubenis. “It was the time when Kirill Serebrennikov staged “Dead Souls”, when the theater still staged “Rat”… We talked very little about individualities and novelties, but everyone had such a “drive”… We could work creatively in the theater through the nights, doing a common thing. But – then one left, the second, the third. I do not know why. I really don’t know. And it all got lost somewhere. Yes, of course, the motto of today’s world is: “Divide and rule!”, and it also affects the theater. Because it is clear: the less people will cuddle, rejoice together, agree on something, the less they will be aware of the common power. But there is strength in the collective, in the team! The hockey team won, the basketball team won… I am also a team person, I also want to be in the team, not to compete with someone and to prove something to someone,” the actor understood.
An unexpected surprise
Đirts considers theater to be the only living art, and by team he means not only his colleagues, but also the audience.
“I want to meet and talk with the audience. If they cry, I cry, if they laugh, I laugh too… And together we create that “explosion” called a show. That’s how I feel at the moment.”
But when talking about the plans for the near future, the actor, without naming a specific date, reveals that something could happen in the cinema field at the end of the year.
“When I had a lot of free time, I also wrote several scenarios, there are various ideas and thoughts. We just have to complete the team with whom to realize it together,” he says, mysteriously adding that he will return to the stage of the National Theater at the beginning of the new year. What exactly awaits there is still kept a secret, but it promises to be an unexpected surprise for the viewers.
“I am often asked how I live, how do I survive? That’s how I live – one day better, one day on my wife’s shoulders, then better again,” the actor does not hide.
2023-11-19 11:16:33
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