„Good vibes only” (lit. “only good emotions”) – such a popular phrase can often be heard at gatherings of friends, at work or even in a personal crisis. According to Mykolas Krisčiūnas, psychologist of “Youth line” and head of the Kaunas branch, excessive positivity can have the opposite result – leading to anxiety and negative feelings. Justina Antropik, “Tele2“, head of content for digital channels, adds that this phenomenon is also prevalent in social networks, and it is perfectly illustrated by the recent scandal over the shared picture of the Princess of Wales.
Encouraged by environmental pressure
According to the psychologist, excessive or toxic positivity can be considered behavior consisting of two parts: excessive and unrealistic attention to pleasant feelings and thoughts, and denial or belittling of unpleasant thoughts and feelings.
“Exaggerated positivity can manifest both within each person, feeling pressure from themselves or the environment to remain positive in every situation, or in social situations urging others to remain so as well.” The main difference from everyday or “healthy” positivity is that in the case of the latter, there is no pressure on oneself or other people to be positive or to feel only one or other feelings, and unpleasant, difficult feelings that may arise are not downplayed,” says M. Krisčiūnas. .
The reasons for such behavior can be various. Society and cultural aspects can fuel the desire to be constantly positive – if people around you tend to show success, brag about it, it is likely that a person may feel pressure to do the same, avoid showing or even feel unpleasant emotions. In this way, positivity can become strongly expressed and inadequate to the real situation.
“The reasons can also be personal – the environment in which we grew up and our personal characteristics can affect our daily mood. For example, if it was not possible to be sad or angry in the family, and only supposedly pleasant things are encouraged to speak and show, it can be difficult to learn different, more diverse ways of behaving”, observes M. Krisčiūnas.
Social networks also have an influence
According to M. Krisčiūnas, social networks that promote unrealistic expectations and images can also contribute to excessive positivity in everyday life. Social networks often highlight only the most perfect moments or images of people’s lives, which takes away from the reality that may be different.
“Reality is also sad, uncomfortable, unpleasant. At the same time, it is important for people who see this to understand that social networks are dominated by snippets of people’s lives, in which they often show the most beautiful versions of themselves, so comparing your life with others according to social networks can be harmful,” says the psychologist.
He is seconded by the content manager of Tele2’s digital channels – according to J. Antropik, some authorities have already begun to assess the damage of social media to psychological health. Last week, the US state of Florida became the first to ban children under 14 from having social media accounts. One of the reasons for such a decision is the research-confirmed influence of social networks on the poor psychological condition of children.
“Social networks really still dominate”good vibes only” a trend where the pictures contain only smiles, shots from impressive trips, the tastiest food and children who don’t cry. However, a wave of other, authentic creators has already started – they share raw shots, open stories, and failures. Of course, there are still too few of them for us to see a real change,” observes J. Antropik.
According to her, every visible joyful moment in social. networks should be viewed critically. It also reminds of another recent story, when Kate Middleton, Princess of Wales, who has disappeared from the public, shared on social networks a very happy photo of herself and her children at first glance, and later it turned out that the shot was enhanced with editing tools, and the princess herself is seriously ill. Some social networking platforms already oblige creators to flag all content edited with AI tools.
The consequences are the opposite
M. Krisčiūnas points out that when a person is not allowed to feel or show any of his feelings, it can create internal tension and promote anxiety. Paradoxically, the consequences of excessive positivity are often the opposite – people can eventually become depressed and have a sad mood.
“It is especially important for a person to have a safe space where he can freely feel various emotions. This is not to say that joy or other positivity should not be an aspiration or value. It means more the recognition that a person can be sad, angry or disappointed, and still live and continue to act, believing that everything will change for the better, which is also an expression of positivity and optimism”, says M. Krisčiūnas.
He advises us to notice tendencies in ourselves when we want to hide certain, especially difficult, emotions from others, we ignore the difficulties that arise, we underestimate certain emotions of other people, we feel shame or guilt, if we are angry, sad, worried. However, it can be more difficult to recognize toxic positivity in other people’s behavior because we don’t always know how they feel.
“One possible way is to talk to others about how their behavior affects us, because constantly looking for positivity can be stressful for us. Another is to wonder how people feel in different situations, whether they only allow themselves to feel certain feelings, and if so, what motivates them to do so. Psychological research has shown that one of the cornerstones of mental health is authenticity and the ability to accept and show myself as I am. By valuing some feelings more than others, we risk putting ourselves and others in an unpleasant situation where positivity alone may not help,” says the psychologist.
Press release
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– 2024-04-07 18:23:38
